Disclaimer

This blog is an on-going work in progress, just like its creator. The names have been changed to protect the innocent, and the not-so-innocent. The events portrayed are as true and accurate as my perspective and memory allows, and are subject to change without further notice in the future. You will not find any Pay Per Post on my blog... No advertising. No peddling of anything other than my personal thoughts, opinions, and experiences... If you are reading my words it is because you are choosing to share a birds-eye view into my playground, not because I am pounding down your door asking to come in out the elements uninvited. With all of that out of the way, I really am glad you are here…

Friday, June 27, 2008

Advice from my Sister-in-law...


I called my brother this morning... With the time difference, it was lunchtime on the farm. Everyone was inside and clamoring for food and drinks, juice and sippy cups, and and and... But I got to have a great conversation with my brother. We spoke for almost thirty minutes before he passed the phone off to my sister-in-law.

And this is what I took away from the conversation, even though as Mommy to four and one on the way, she has only a few minutes to spare as she is powering through the lunchtime rush...

1.) When I asked when the exhaustion would end... She laughed and said in about 18 or 20 years... she said to just push through as best as I can and get things done.

2.) When I told her about not being able to handle the smell of meat... she said I was just going to have to get over it at some point, since with the next one I would still have to cook the meals and feed them anyway.

And we talked about other practical things like little kids and spilling on floors and cleaning hard wood versus pergo or tile... And so I have lots of food for thought about putting reclaimed wood in the kitchen and entryway... Might give more consideration to the tile that will be in the bathrooms after all...

You know the woman truly is incredible when she can juggle four little ones, feed a hungry farmer, and still impart great wisdom and needed advice in under five minutes. Seriously, she is the best and I am very, VERY, lucky to have her in my life... (Even when it is only five minutes at a time...)



Note: That is my youngest niece *helping* in the kitchen... (Yet another example of how awesome my sister-in-law is...)

Friday, June 20, 2008

Color me Happy...


Okay... I know that we are moving to Pleasantville... But it cracks me up to no end to see that our house could have come right off the set of Swingtown...

Seriously...1951 meets 1975 and toss in a bunch of 200 year old oak trees and you have our house.

Yesterday we signed our lives away... Well... the next thirty years of our lives... And I have never been happier to be connected to another person. And by such a beautiful house that we will be able to make into our very first HOME together. Yup. THRILLING!!!!

The afternoon was spent washing walls at the apartment with breaks spent buried in mountains of paint chips. It is difficult to pick which way to go. Soft and spa-like, bold and graphic, or bright and colorful. The only thing that I am sure of, is that when I am done, it will look like it is ready to be gracing the pages of House Beautiful.

And so that you all can see just how close our new house does look like Swingtown, I am including this quickie clip from the behind the scenes of the show. Enjoy!

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Hmmm...




Your Inner Color is Green



Your Personality: You are a high acheiver who is very competitive. You're bound to reach your goals, no matter how lofty.



You in Love: Picky with high standards, it's hard to find your match. You need someone as driven as you are!



Your Career: You need a high profile, challenging career to satisfy you. Consider finance, sales, or running your own company.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

How did you rate?

76

As a 1930s wife, I am
Very Superior

Take the test!


My sister-in-law got 100%... Of course. But she is super-woman...

(Though, I laughed when I read the question about placing cold feet on husband... Who doesn't do that? I am sure that is where I got mostly marked down... That, and I do not yet have children I can fairly solve squabbles for...)

They even have the test for husbands...

So...

How did you score?

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Just Married!


Dear Friends;

The Boyfriend and I tied the knot!

We were married in San Francisco on June 12th. At 12pm. It was truly an auspicious day!

We did not plan what we were going to wear. (The day before I tried on most of what I brought up here with me, and nothing thrilled me. Having left 40' of clothes hanging in my closet down south, I was a little bummed, but not overly so.) We figured that we would go casual with flip flops and Hawaiian shirts...

The night before the *big day* I dreamed in black and white. I had on a classic black sheath dress that always makes me think of Breakfast at Tiffany's, The Boyfriend had on a traditional black suit and tie. It was a wonderful dream. It was filled with romance and adventure and I felt as if Bogart and Bacall were going to step into it at any moment. When I woke up, I was so convinced that this was the dress I was going to wear that I leaped out of bed and wiggled into it. (And that is how The Boyfriend woke up...) And being the good sport that he is, he donned his black suit, crisp white dress shirt and added a white silk tie. He looked exactly how I had dreamed. (And so did I. I felt so beautiful and timeless. A pair of black patent leather pumps and a faux tiger striped swing coat and my Nona's gold bracelet were the finishing touches.) We looked as if we really were in an old black and white movie from the 50's...


I made us traditional breakfast, and we hopped into the car for the drive into the City.

I was very surprised to see City Hall. I had no idea that it was so beautiful! Or so gigantic! (The Boyfriend laughed and said that he thought that I had planned it, that he thought I knew that it was that cool... Really, I had no clue.) It is more beautiful than many of the Cathedrals that I have seen and is truly awe inspiring. What a great place to get married!






With plenty of time to spare, we found the room for marriages and marriage licenses. There were so many happy couples waiting for their turn to become legally bound. It was fantastic! From young to old, formally dressed in full wedding gowns to jeans and shorts, they were all there. (Some were very, very old, and some were very, very pregnant...) There was even a whole Asian family there with a *film crew* that took videos and snapped photos of every single second while the Bride and Groom looked as if they had been plucked off the top of a wedding cake and Papa held the bright pink purses with pride...

We applied for the license and then took a break to sit on the grand staircase and wait for noon when it would be our turn.


Two beautiful ladies were our witnesses. (They had happily answered my call for help, and I am so thankful that they did. It made the day so much more than I had thought... And having such wonderful women there really bolstered me in a way I had not imagined.) And our Judge was exactly as I had envisioned. He was elderly, as if he had sat on the bench long before we were both born, and had married countless couples over too many days to count. He wore the traditional black judge's robes, and had a great voice that carried well in the rotunda where we officially became husband and wife.


The ceremony was short and sweet. Quite to the point. No special vows, no rings exchanged, just the same *I do* that so many thousands have said before us. (It was rather reassuring... I mean, if you are going to do something traditional like get married in the first place, why not really go all the way with it...) We held hands, and I did not cry. Almost... But I held it together. And The Boyfriend looked so proud and happy. It was perfect. And then faster than a 90 second quickie, it was done. And we kissed twice because we are in California. Once for real and once for the camera. (Though happily all of the snapshots came out grainy and blurry. Which is what I had wanted. To be able to remember the day the way our hearts saw it.)




I gave my new Husband, my Beloved best friend, a small little box that contained 12 shiny new pennies in it as a wedding present. (You remember when we were little and the world had so much magic and wonder in it? When we used to toss pennies into fountains and wells so that our heart's desire, our wishes would come true? Somehow, this remarkable man has managed to grant every wish I have wished. So much so, that I have nothing left to wish for. So I gave him the rest of my wishes... I don't need them anymore. I have long been happy with myself, but now I am content. And while I know that we must each find our own contentment, and that pennies may only be pennies, there is still something that inspires the magic of life when I am with him.)


Afterwards, we stepped out of City Hall, our hands clasped and giggling like the whole world was ahead of us... (Because it was... It is... And I love that.)

We strolled down the street looking for a place to get a drink. (The weather was hot and sunny, and for the City, that is saying something...) I played in a fountain, but my Beloved would not take his shoes off to join me... And then we had iced tea and a white frosted, rainbow sprinkled donut! (What a great wedding cake! It was the best donut I have ever eaten, it was confectionery heaven.)


As we walked back to the car, we came to a flea market. Something in one of the stalls blinked out shiny and I had to go see... It was from the sparkle of rings... Winking and blinking in the light. We laughed and I tried one on... And it fits, we'll need to size it a little later, but it does not fall off, which never happens with my super skinny fingers...








And that is how I ended up with a ring that looks like it came from Harry Winston... On our wedding day... Where for the first time in my life, I planned nothing, expected nothing, stressed over nothing, worried about nothing, and came away with everything. And more.


Later on, after we had changed into shorts and flip flops, we went to our little Italian restaurant that we love so much, and had a lovely dinner and tiramisu... It was the perfect ending for the perfect day... (And the night I am keeping to myself. After all... Not everything gets Blogged...)

Sunday, June 8, 2008

I'm Pregnant!


I'm PREGNANT!!!

How is that for something incredible!?!

And of that is why I have not been Blogging for awhile now... Every time I went to write something, all I wanted to do was spill the news...

I'm PREGNANT!!!

We were planning on waiting until the second trimester to say anything, but how can we not share something so totally fantastic?

I'm PREGNANT!!!

Besides... This has always been a place where I have shared my ups and downs, along with a funny time or two... So how is it that I can withhold my funny conception/ future Mother-in-law story longer than I have to? I can't... So now you all get to laugh along with me... And feel my pain... (Trust me, this whole pregnancy thing is great, but there is pain... Much more than I ever imagined...) Who else to better share my educational experience of a lifetime with? (And if you have been reading my Blog since the beginning then you will recall that I have always been the one to dread anything baby and baby related... You will know that while I do know HOW babies are made, and HOW babies are born, I know absolutely NOTHING of pregnancy... So this really is a huge learning experience for me.)

Mmmm... And how far along am I? Just a little over 6 weeks... And when did we find out? Just a little over 2 hours after we were told that the offer on the house had been accepted. YUP. We found out on the same day! (See... I really meant it when I said it was going to be a day we would never forget.)

And for those of you who said that the pitter patter of little feet were soon to be heard. You were right! Right now the estimated due date is January 29th. (I got the Aquarius that I wanted so badly... And The Boyfriend got his birthday wish. He had asked for a baby... Tall order, but we managed to pull that one off... (But that is part of the funny story to be coming down the Blogging road in the very near future.)

Oh thank goodness!
I'm PREGNANT!!!

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

We got the house!


Yesterday will be a day to remember for the rest of our lives... So much shock can only be delivered to a person before the brain gets addled and things like leaving the keys in the door and walking halfway to the car before you notice start to happen.

We got the call just late enough in the morning from Derrick, that we had figured that is was not going to be coming for several more hours. So I had traipsed off to the store with a very Dear Friend who was waiting to pick up the keys on her totally cute new house. (She'll be moving a coupe of hours away, we needed supplies for the trip and a few other things...)

She and I were standing at the counter, having just purchased our (loot) things, when The Boyfriend called.

Are you in a public place?

Yes. We're just getting ready to leave the store...

Good. Derrick called... He said that... Wah-Wa Wah-Wawa Waaaw-Wa...

(I'm not sure what Derick said. My heart started racing the second The Boyfriend uttered the words "Derrick called". All I heard in my brain was "Ohhh please...Oh please...Oh please...Oh please" like a train keeping rhythm to the blood pounding through my brain. Everything else that followed was like the teacher speaking in the old Charlie Brown comics...)

Wah- Wa Wa... counter offer, but basically it means WE GOT THE HOUSE!

(It is a good thing that I had headed out to the front of the store while The Boyfriend was telling what Derrick said because at that moment, I started jumping up and down like a Mexican Jumping Bean and screaming like a Chihuahua in a purse at the mall.)

Eeeeeeeeeeee! Really? (Reallyreallyreally?) Really? Eeeeeeeeeeeeee! WE GOT THE HOUSE!

(You should have seen the gianormous man walking into the store at just that moment jump about a foot off the floor and look at me like he had never heard a person being told that they just won the lottery or the Superbowl or gotten the house of their dreams before. He was totally startled. The old man that followed into the store right after just shook his head.)

Oh my god!
Oh my god!
Oh my god!
Oh my god!
Really?
Really?
Really?
Really?
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
(Hop up and down like a bunny on some really good speed.)
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Ohhh!

Okay... We'll be right there! You can tell me when we get back...

(WE GOT THE HOUSE!)

Sunday, May 25, 2008

Back and forth really bites...


We made the offer on the house. The Seller's Agent is assuring us that they are not playing games, but it seems like they may be. (Or rather, that the Agent may be...) Derrick advises us well, and The Boyfriend is rolling things around in his brain for the rest of the night. (Funny the word rest, there will be no rest tonight... Just stressful thoughts dancing in and out of our heads, trying to figure out the best way to achieve the goal of getting the house.)

They countered, but not yet in writing. They are still showing the house, today was a return showing, and tomorrow (we have been advised) are two more showings. Their Agent says that it was only the first day that the offer came in and that they don't want to rush... But that they are not playing games. (That phrase comes along again.) We had gotten the response from their Agent that he was unable to locate the Seller yesterday, so we have been waiting until tonight to hear back. But nothing in writing, nothing binding, nothing that would put us into the good position of *pending*...

Is it any wonder that we noticed that I am covered in hives on the right side of my body? (Though I am thinking that it may actually be a case of shingles... That has happened before in the past. Will have to try some drugs and see if it helps...) Needless to say, this is the ultimate stress. (Of course I may say this again later on down the road with the next thing, but right now, this is the ultimate.) So I am trying to remain calm and focus on that whole breathing thing. (The Boyfriend is blaring music into his ears via headset... Thank goodness for headsets...)

We call Derrick in the morning to let him know what we have decided the plan of action that best suits us will be. (Like a call to arms... How sad.)

I know that they say if something is just given to you, you don't appreciate it as much... Great, I get it. We appreciate it. Really and truly.

Hard work: Check
Drive: Check
Research: Check
Focus: Check
Gratefulness: Check
Appreciation: Check
Humility: Check
Patience: Still working on that one, not my strong suit
Compassion: Check
Fairness: Check
Love: Double check- check
Superstitious finger crossing: Super- duper, extra bold CHECK

And of course for good measure... Grrrrrr...

Friday, May 23, 2008

We changed gears faster than Flash Gordon...


So I wrote the last post... And then the phone rang. It was the Broker. Loan approved! The Realtor was there with the Broker, they are in the same building so it was an easy thing to do. Our super fantastic Realtor, Derrick Oh, said that he had already contacted the Seller's Agent and had given him a heads up on our interest in the property. He would be expecting our offer in the morning and was very excited to be working with us! We were the first call! (Can you hear the screams of excitement from here?)

At this point in the conversation I am jumping up and down and crying my eyes out because I am so happy! (You mean I get to live in the Barbie Chalet? And we get to KEEP it? All of my dreams that I thought were going to have to be placed on hold until the next home are jumping up and down in excitement...)


So then Derrick tells us that he will meet with us after we meet with the Broker tomorrow morning to draw up the papers. (Note that both the Broker and the Realtor were supposed to be going away on vacation tomorrow. I know, they are just the best! And like I have been saying for days upon days now; I LOVE Derrick!)

Then Derrick called me back to hold my hand a reassure me that we would be getting the offer in on time, that he had talked to the Seller's Agent again and that we'll be faxing it all over and that it was all good, all the way around. We went over the reports (The tests have already been done, the reports already given to us.) and are ready with a game plan.

It is everything that I spoke about with my first meeting with Derrick. (And he recalled everything that I said I was looking for.) And this home fits the original list to a tee! (And... Are you ready for this? It is not much more than the other home. Without all the downsides.)

Side note on the other home. We looked at it again. Really, really looked. And it has more problems than we originally saw. Like cracks in the pool and the addition not being on a foundation that we can see... Yeah... Still a good deal, but not as good as we thought. And headaches. Potentially big headaches. (This new home does not have that. What it has are all the permits in order, all the test done, everything sound.)

So wish us more luck, yet again. And keep those fingers just a little more crossed than before... Tomorrow morning is going to be huge!

OMG!!!


Here is a video from the latest house hunt. This is the home of my dreams... Right within reach... It all is getting down to timing... Will the Broker get back to us in time? Will the Realtor being gone on vacation over the weekend be our undoing? Will some other Buyer snap this up from under us while we are at the mercy of others? Will it be ours? Can we do it? Can we do it in time? Can The Boyfriend hold up to the compounding stress of me facing the home I thought was beyond our reach, just within our grasp? Will I go nuts? Will I take The Boyfriend with me?



And for a few stills that the video does not cover; try out this album.



It is everything that I told the Realtor that I was hoping for.

It is huge, almost 2,000 sq. ft.
It has high vaulted, open beamed ceilings in every room.
It has two skylights.
It has two fireplaces.
It has covered parking for two large vehicles that can easily become a garage.
It has a pool that is deep enough for a diving board and long enough to swim real laps in.
It has three bedrooms.
It has two bathrooms.
It has a nook in the kitchen large enough for a table and four chairs.
It has a formal living room, and a separate family room.
It has a formal dining area.
It has a formal entryway.
It has tons of windows, large ones, and sliding doors.
It has lots of natural light.
It has a large grassy yard, in the front.
It has room to plant a few fruit trees.
The streets have tons of old tall oak trees, the yards are fully landscaped.
The streets are really wide.
The area is quiet.
The street has almost no traffic on it.
The street has good freeway access.
The street has almost NO turnover rate.
It is in the best area of town. (It is the La Jolla of our new city.)

Oh...

And the reports and tests have already been done. The bits that need to be done are nothing major and would be done by the Seller. (And we would get to pick the new tile. Talk about winning!)

And the price is right. Just barely. And we have to get just one type of loan to be able to swing it. But it is. And the value is already way more than the asking price. Not to mention that I would be hard pressed to want to ever move from this house. It has all the growth we would need. We can have visitors and entertain, and have two children fit right in without batting an eye. Great schools, safe neighborhood, this place has it all.

Just cross your fingers.

(And The Boyfriend says that he wants a vacation from his vacation. I can't blame him. Not one bit. I push hard and poke the bear way too often...)

Monday, May 19, 2008

Quickie Update...


We met with the Realtor.
Went over papers.
Came up with a number.
Initialed the offer.
Sent it to the Seller's Agent.
Got a call about two hours later...

First hurdle made. The Seller accepted. Did the initialing, but forgot one page. Will send the disclosures over tomorrow.

Next hurdle: Getting the Seller's Banks to accept the offer... (That could take awhile.)

Fingers are crossed. Happy dance has been going on since 6:30... Keeping those fingers crossed. (Hopefully we'll be lounging in our very own pool this summer!)

Note to Self...


Had a great conversation with The Boyfriend this morning. Then he left for a quickie gym session. I glanced through my e-mail and clicked on a Dear Friend's profile. This song came out of my computer. I don't know what it was, didn't really get the words... But the melody touched me. I sat there on the sofa for the duration of the song, just a minute or two, and soaked it all in. And I was happy with my own company. Alone in my own space and thoughts and my own moment.

Note to Self:

Remember when the children are acting like kids, and the dog is wanting attention, and the dishes need to be washed, my Father is giving me grief for not calling enough, the man in my life is needing his best friend, my friends need their friend too, and I have dinner on the stove... It is a good thing and perfectly okay to take a moment for myself. To step away from it all and shut it all out for the duration of a good deep breath. It is the inner peace that brings me back to me and no matter how it may seem to the rest of the world, it is less selfish in the end if I have more of me to give. (And even if it is more selfish, I need to remember that I count in there too.)

It is incredible how in the space of one song, how many solid deep breaths a body can take. And how good it feels. And no matter how tight the money is, how high the stress is, or how crazy the life is; you can always afford the moment to just BE.

Yup. gotta remember that one.

Sunday, May 18, 2008

Our House Update...


Thank you... Thank you... Thank you... For all the wonderful well wishes!

(If you are scratching your head at this post, take a look at the previous post.)

Loan approved. Initial offer has been phoned into the Listing Agent. We meet with our wonderful Derrick tomorrow to go over where we go from here... (It is a short sale home... We will have to run our own tests and reports and wait to see if the Seller's bank accepts our tentative offer...)

But so far, so good!

I called my brother (the general contractor, not the farmer) and asked his thoughts on the cost of redoing the sun room. There is some damage that will have to be taken care of, and only the results of the inspector's reports will let us know just how much damage there is. The upside is, that the home is such a good deal, that even if we demo the whole back and buld it from scratch, we can totally do it. (Sigh of relief from The Boyfriend, happy dance from me...)

I spent the better part of last night going over things that we now have on a (pre) list of refurbishing/ improvements to do. Trying to figure out time/ money/ value ratios. (I have said that I am a list maker as well as a lover of research.)

Here is an idea of what we have so far:

Take care of the corner of dry rot, if that is all it is, in the sun room.
OR:
Take care of the repairs of the dry rot, up to and including a total sun room re-do

Take out the glass block window in the bathroom that is partially falling out already.
AND:
Replace glass block window with a clear and frosted leaded and beveled stained glass window.

(Since it can be seen from the bathroom shower/tub and in the sun room, it need to look like it was done on purpose, not an afterthought. Talk about turning a negative into a positive though! I rocked the solution on this one if I do say so myself...)

Replace the windows and doors of the sun room with French doors.

(Rather than redoing the outside of the sun room to match the house, and putting up drywall on the inside, we'll just install the French doors. Less work and money, if you can believe it. And the view of the pool is really great and private. Oh, and it totally fits with the time frame of the house and neighborhood. Yup, it's that simple.)

Add some trellis and vine type plants along the exposed fence line.

(Since the fence and privacy walls are in really good shape, this will add to the view and keep the plants from damaging the walls. And they will be fairly easy to maintain.)

Plant a cherry tree. Somewhere. Location to be determined.

(The Boyfriend LOVES cherries and really wants a tree. Small request, top of the list really.)

Build a pseudo craftsman arbor over the small patch of grass in the back yard.

(It needs to be a slightly later style than craftsman, since the house was built in 1947, as was the neighborhood. And it is very clear that the area the home is in is focused on preservation. Since it is the only patch of grass in the back, it should be emphasized in a way that ties it into the landscaping and existing architecture. And it gives The Boyfriend a place to put up a couple of hanging chairs and/or a hammock. With a few eye bolts they can be easily changed out or completely removed. And lastly, it will help provide a tiny bit more shade. We were thinking the open kind of arbor, so the top slats don't provide much coverage without a canopy... Now there is a thought for later...)

Tile the sun room floor with reclaimed Terra Cotta and stone tiles. Place hand done mosaic in the center between the dining room and the main French doors to the back yard.

(The floor has to be re-done, so it might as well be done in a way to give us the biggest returns. And get this, the cost of the reclaimed tiles and stone pieces are not outrageously priced... Well, they are comparable to any other flooring choice we have to fit in with the house. And since I am very artistic, and will be signing up for a class to learn the specifics of laying a mosaic with The Boyfriend, we are going to do that part ourselves. Hooray for having artistic talents, patience, and an over-dose in perfectionism!)

Have a carpenter come in and match the space in the original hardwood floor where the old heating vent contraption was.
OR:
Purchase a reclaimed 18" ornate grate to place in the floor for decorative bonus while creatively solving the current dilemma.

(There is a new system already installed and now there is a gaping 18" hole in the wall at the floor, and a noticeable lack of hardwood.)

Leave the kitchen alone.

(It is perfect and there is nothing to change/ add/ or re-do. Really. Even down to the mint condition vintage Wedgewood stove and stained glass panel in the door out to the garage.)

Lay tile in the second bathroom to finish the current renovations.

(All we have to do is match the beautifully completed first bathroom.)

Add fresh neutral paint to the walls, freshen up the white of the crown molding and trim.

(Talk about a no brainer spiffer upper.)

Add crown molding to the hallway.

(I know that this may sound a little silly, but I saw it in two other homes in the same neighborhood, and it looks INCREDIBLE! It made such a huge difference that was also tastefully understated. Kind of like changing out the doorknobs. I know! Right?)

This is sort of the sad part. When you look at everything the Sellers have done to the home, and the current state of uncompleted projects, you can see that they were on the right track and just ran out of money. They tackled pretty much all of the expensive projects, the things that The Boyfriend and I are more than happy to not to need to take on, and then just could not afford to continue with the restoration and upgrades. Their sad plight of paying way too much at the height of the market, and taking on costly repairs led to their loss of the home.

I am torn in my jubilation of such a gem to (possibly, keep those fingers crossed and good vibes coming...) call our very own, and sadness at the loss of another family's hard work and dreams. So the emotions keep swinging back and forth, but for the most part, I am doing the happy dance of the century! (Good thing that the century is still young... Though this will really be difficult to top.)

Note:
The photo up at the top is a really bad show and tell of the kitchen. It was used in the listing. I'm sure the second I get a chance, I will be taken far too many photos that would do the little gem we hope to call home justice. Oh... and if the above (partial) list seems a bit daunting, please keep in mind that we are elated to be doing this. And actually are looking forward to weekends at home with our hands getting dirty. well, The Boyfriend's hands, we all know I will be using work gloves as a second skin.) And if it seems like the house is a wreck, please believe that it is far from it. I am just a perfectionist and we are looking forward to getting the biggest return on this (enormous) investment. We're just having fun stacking the deck if you will...

Saturday, May 17, 2008

Waiting on Pins and Needles...


I am on pins and needles...

Being the person that I am, I research things... To death. And then I research them some more. And then I get other opinions and advice and do some more research. (So when I hear about a band that has been together 10 years, yet they are an overnight success, I totally get it.)

The Boyfriend and I have been looking for a house. (It's the next thing on his list. New job. Done. House. Engagement/ Marriage. Baby.) He decided in February, after mulling things over for a very long time, that this is his plan. And that he wanted it done and resolved by his birthday. Which was this past Sunday. (Also known as Mother's Day this year.) Not much time, I know. So I have had things in high gear.

I got a *feeling* on this great house in the Rose Garden that turned out to be not so great. But also turned out to be fantastic because I adore our Realtor, Derrick Oh. Form there I did my research, and Derrick and I spent the better part of yesterday looking at way too many homes. (When I say the better part of, I mean from 11am until 3:30 and then again from 4:30 to 5:30 with The Boyfriend along for the final viewings.) Long day, I know. Great Realtor, really great Realtor, I know.

So The Boyfriend and I slept on it. And then spoke on it. And we are going to make a tentative offer. (Pending bank approval, it's a short sale, and the test reports coming back satisfactorily.)

And I am really quite pleased. (The phrase; Pleased as Punch, comes to mind.) That easy. Excellent! Hooray for good timing and tenacity. (Especially since I am now thoroughly exhausted...) We are this much closer to getting the things in life that we desire. (And even if something happens so that this is not the house, we are still so very much closer to those things than before.)

I am now on pins and needles... Like a kid that is waiting for Christmas, and now school is out and the snow is falling and the cookies are baked and frosted... And Santa is still not here yet... Kind of like that. (Only I knew at 4 that Santa did not exist... Well that is until a couple of years ago when I met him... No really. I did. See below.)


And now it is time for The Boyfriend to bring on the money people, the test inspector people and the too many forms and numbers sign your life away people. (But he is goo with that stuff...) And then it is waiting. Until tonight to meet with the first of them. Until Monday afternoon to meet with the next... And all I keep thinking is; Let this be the right thing, and PLEASE don't let anyone else make an offer on our house.

(The one house that when I walked in the door, I just KNEW, I was HOME. The rest are okay, this was home. And yes, no matter what there are other homes in the sea... And this is only an interim home... But ohhh...)

Want a teaser? The photo at the top is from the collection of this house. Great potential right? Makes you want to come over for a swim and home cooked dinner huh? (Send the good vibes, and consider yourself invited...)

Life in the Land of Listings...


Okay... SO I had to share this little silly... It made me laugh.

While perusing the latest listings, I cam across this one:

GREAT LOCATION. CLOSE TO SANTANA ROW, VALLEY MEDICAL & 280. RARE TO FIND 2 CAR GARAGE IN THIS AREA. ADDITION WITH PERMIT. NEWER WINDOWS, WATER HEATHER , COOPER PLUMBING, KITCHEN APPLIANCES AND SPRINKLER SYSTEM. HUGE MASTER BEDROOM WITH WALK-IN CLOSET. FIREPLACE IN LIVING ROOM. EXTRA STORAGE.

Hopefully water Heather and Cooper plumbing will be able to hook up and have e good time. As we all know, a happy house makes for a happy home...

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Gee... Really?







Which Action Hero Would You Be? v. 2.0
created with QuizFarm.com
You scored as Lara Croft

A thrill-seeking, slightly unscrupulous, tough-as-nails archaeologist, Lara Croft travels the world in search of ancient relics perhaps better left hidden. She packs two Colt .45s and has no fear of jumping off buildings, exploring creepy tombs, or taking on evil meglomaniacs bent on world domination.


Lara Croft


92%

Batman, the Dark Knight


71%

James Bond, Agent 007


71%

Indiana Jones


63%

Captain Jack Sparrow


58%

El Zorro


50%

Neo, the "One"


50%

Maximus


46%

William Wallace


42%

The Amazing Spider-Man


42%

The Terminator


38%


So I am officially a two-timing cheater...


Yup. You read that right. I am a cheating. On my Realtor. (And he is a fantastic Realtor... Really.)

There has been much in the way of life changes and advancements over the past week. So much so, that if it had all gone on over a month, it would still be a packed month. But here's the rundown.

I went, I saw, I picked up my jaw up off the floor from the House of *What were they Thinking?*... (Derrick, my NEW Realtor and I think that it was either an elder care facility, or a halfway house.) There were 6 bed rooms and 4 bathrooms. It had water damage, and mold, and there was no way that The Boyfriend and I could figure out how to remodel it successfully. (Even the visiting parents were stumped.) New baths all the way around, new kitchen, new laundry room, new plaster walls, and that was just to make it livable. (Assuming that there was no termite damage/lead paint/ asbestos/ black mold/ roof damage/ foundation cracks, plumbing, and electrical trouble.)

All in all, it was just too much to take on. Even for the to die for neighborhood it was in. (And really, I have not seen a better neighborhood anywhere. If you are in the Bay Area, then you just might be familiar with the historic Rose Garden District. Yeah... It was that great, but not...)

The good part was, I found a Realtor that I fell in love with. His name is Derrick. And Derrick is Fabulous with a capitol F. He gets me, and thinks my insane lists and desires are great. He loves my energy and is a great balance for The Boyfriend and I. (He used to do the high powered computer world thing, but retired to real estate about 10 years ago. So he gets the commute thing for The Boyfriend.) He also grew up in the Bay Area, in an EICHLER!! So he knows all about them, is familiar with the areas that we are focused on, and could even be our (sort of) neighbor. Oh, and he used to do the loan approval thing when he first got into real estate, so he is familiar with all the tips and tricks and still has great connections. (He has The Boyfriend hopping through this part already.) Yup. We both love Derrick. (Did I mention that he is highly responsive to e-mails and calls? Yup, I love Derrick, he can handle my three messages a day, and still find 5 listing that I did not have on my current list of over 70...)

I'll speak on the parents visit in the next Blog, else the update will go on forever... But they came, they visited, they ate The Boyfriend's birthday cake, they left for home happy. It was good.

They also spent an afternoon touring around a few neighborhoods on our list. (Makes it easier to tell them about the homes we are viewing if they have seen the areas and types of homes in them. Especially since both San Diego and the Oregon Valley don't really have neighborhoods like these.) This is where the cheating comes in. (I know, and I was just starting out with a Realtor... It's not that I am fickle, it's just that it takes a whole heck of a lot to get me to commit exclusivity...)

We paused to tour a grand home, waaay out of our price range. The Realtor, Louise. (The Boyfriend calls her *The Bulldog Woman*.) She is the super salesperson. The one you bring in to close a deal. The Boyfriend and I met a few of those when we took a tour of a timeshare on Hawaii's Big Island this past February. She asked me a few questions, ran right over my answers, and whipped out her trusty compilation of listings for the totally shi-shi neighborhood of Willow Glen. She wanted to show us a home that had too few bedrooms at too high a price. I finally got her to show us a home that might work. (Turns out that it was practically perfect, just out of our price range when we re-looked at what we could realistically afford. Seriously a bummer.)

She has been rather aggressive in being determined to find us a home in the shi-shi area that are all she handles... So I figured I would let her. Who knows what she might find... And now that she and I have spoken about the house we viewed, she knows what it is that we like. Now I just need to convince her that our new limit really is our limit. (It is sort of reminding me of the book; If you give a Mouse a Cookie... But I am sure I can handle it.)

So the plan is to let her run with the shi-shi rope and see what the trolling brings in... And keep Derrick for everything else. Everything else is where I am all but positive we will find the home we will purchase. (But with such a huge commitment, and such a great expense, I feel it is okay to keep a few options open just in case. And I have never told Derrick that he was the only one. Gosh, now here come the excuses, right?)

The Boyfriend is actually looking forward to landscaping and gardening... And I have a few marbles stashed away in my purse... (Thanks El...) So please wish me a pretty new home that has architectural character and a close commute time. And if you really feel the wishing juices churning, wish me closets and storage space... Even though we are planning on only two children, there are many grandparents to spoil them, and many cousins to come and stay for long visits. (And of course, you all can come and visit too!)

I am looking forward to unpacking all of my beautiful dishes and having dinner parties, bar-be-ques, and brunches... I love to entertain and will be so happy when I am finally in a place to have everyone over like I used to. Movie parties, craft and sewing parties, and if I am really lucky, perhaps even a pool party... Who know what we'll end up with. (Just know that for friends and family, the door is open...)

I am set to view some homes again on Friday. (And since this is more like a marathon...) Let the games begin!

PS. If you happen to be in the South Bay/ San Jose area, and are looking for the best Realtor, contact mine. (And with no fewer than 9 Realtors in my family, I know a good one in an instant.) Shameless plug for Derrick Oh... (Just please don't buy my house... Okay? Thanks!)

Derrick Oh
Coldwell Banker
P: 408 445-7128
F: 408 723-1950
www.DerrickOh.com


Update:

I cannot be a cheater any more. Luscious is right, a good Realtor is way too fantastic, and Derrick is just that. (He gets me, he really gets me...) And since I have been going around for the past day and a half saying that *I just LOVE Derrick... I love Derick*... I am done with the rest.

There really is just nothing else that she could bring to the table that he could not, or would not... (Except for perhaps her pushy hard sell, and that is just not my style...)

Even The Boyfriend agrees, Derrick is EXCELLENT... (But really, please don't buy our house, thanks.)

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Thursday, May 8, 2008

Looking at a Home...


I am on my way to meet with a Realtor to see a 1920's house. 6 bedroom/ 4 bath, 3236sft. The listing says it needs a little TLC. But We shall see.

"Truly a unique Property, Charming & Spacious, Investors Dream, 6 Bedroom Plus 2nd story Master Suite w/Fireplace, 4 1/2 Bath. Huge step down Family room with adjacent Wet Bar. Needs TLC! Needs some WK. GREAT NEIGHBORHOOD! Priced to Sell, Must see!"

I am trying not to get too excited about it. (But wish me luck just in case!)

In other news, I am now officially ready for the immanent arrival of The Boyfriend's parents. Spring cleaning is done. Now all there is to do is wait.

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Another Day of Peeing on the Stick...


After 10 days, the little stick is finally starting to get a little darker with that second line. Whew! And I was beginning to hold my breath that it was not ever going to change...

Things are still on schedule then... Even though my eagerness and anticipation were getting the better of me... Okay, perhaps they still are... But I'd really like an Aquarius...

Of course The Boyfriend's Mother as set a gremlin loose in my ovulation gears... (You see, I am supposed to be in high fertility this weekend. The weekend of The Boyfriend's birthday. The weekend of Mother's Day. The weekend that we have a home full of visiting parents...) I had it all worked out that we would send them out for morning coffee at the nearby Starbucks... Just like the last visit... But The Boyfriend's Mother is bring a French press so that they won't have to leave at all... (Do you hear the screaming of my ovaries?)

And my body is once again being weird... (How I miss the pill... Weight control, hormone control, predictability...) My face is a mix of fine lines and acne. (Is this some sort of sick joke from nature? Should I have one or the other? Why is it that I have both? Lines are for the old... Bumps are for the young... Grrr...) My glands are swollen and my neck is sore... Like I slept funny, but not quite... And then there is the sharp pain sort of near my abdomen... Like where I used to get menstrual cramps, but higher... Yup... Temperature a tad higher than normal... Sounds like my body might have figured out this whole ovulation thing after all.

Let's just keep our fingers crossed that the woman who is the first one up and the last one to bed feels the need to go out for a nice walk... (I know... Why not just have sex on the floor as far away from the shared wall as quietly as possible like every other time? Ah... But we are forgetting the added bonus of me hanging out with my pelvis in the air for 20-30 minutes to help the little swimmers along on their journey... Yeah... Not really a great plan...)

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Our Home's Evolving Decor...


I have been busy making the apartment more like a home. The Boyfriend teases me that I am nesting, and I probably am. But with such a great end result, it really is a good thing, whatever it is called.

I have updated the album that I started to keep track of how it all looks. There are tons of lengthy comments explaining it all too. And no, there are not too many... It is not too over the top. Just a little spring time decorating. I still have a rug and some more curtains to work on, but I am getting to the point where I really enjoy just sitting around and looking at how nice things look. (The bedroom is getting close to the spa look that I was after. A few more additions down the road and we could rent it out for $500.00 a night... Not that I would or anything, but you know what I mean.)

Our Home's Evolving Decor

The Boyfriend loves it too. He jokes that he is going to wake up in the morning and not know where he is, but he smiles when he sees it and his eyes get all twinkly. (And that might account for the official statement that we now live together. He was very determined to make sure that I knew I had a permanent space and belonging here so that I could no longer voice my thoughts of living out of my suitcase with any validity. I like that. Sometimes, it takes a man emptying out his dresser to bring the realization home that I am... well... HOME.


(The photos of us were taken this past Valentine's Day. We had a delightful evening curled up on the sofa with a rare delivered pizza as a treat... One that was so good, there was only one slice left at the end of the night. Served right from the box onto real dinner plates and accompanied by cloth napkins...Yup... It's home.)

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

The full Windsor baby...


The Boyfriend has (another) interview today. Moving upwards and jumping ladders is a good thing, but can wreck havoc on the nerves. (He already has a good job, but it is time to be moving onward towards things that will take him the places that he is preferring to go. Or at least try out.) He is using my words as his mantra and seems much calmer this morning than last night.

"Remember, you are interviewing them."
It is always a two way street. The "good fit" needs to go both ways. (And he has a lot to offer...)

So this morning, he put on the black suit that I picked up from the dry cleaners yesterday. He has on smashing black socks (with a small pattern on them) to go with his black silk tie that I had all laid out. (He even has the undershirt and striped shirt going on. He looks sharp.) Even his shoes are nicely polished. (He polished them, I avoid shoe polish whenever possible. Shined shoes are a must though...)

And after several (numerous) tries at tying the tie, along with me as the peanut gallery getting in the way, he looks divine. (Or as he says: " I look like I am going to either a wedding or a funeral.")

Then since there was an hour left to kill, I searched out how to properly tie a full Windsor knot. (Hey... It's been awhile. But you can bet that I'll be practicing for quite some time when I am all alone. Getting my hands on a man in a suit is one of my top pleasures in life. (Getting my hands on The Boyfriend in a suit... Well that's just out of this world...)

Here is the great how-to video that we found. Short and to the point and even has instant re-plays. Enjoy!

Monday, March 31, 2008

Here come the caolries...


I have a ton of food blogs that I keep in my reader. Last night, The Boyfriend and I were drooling over countless photos and recipes... (That is, until I realized that we were both really hungry and we stopped to have some dinner...)

Here are two that looked good for the upcoming Passover holiday... (And one is sure to be a favorite as it has coconut and no gluten... Too bad it is not sugar free too...)


Coconut Macaroons

6 egg whites
1/4 teaspoon celtic sea salt
1/2 cup agave nectar
1 tablespoon vanilla extract
3 cups shredded coconut

1. In a mixing bowl whisk egg whites and salt until stiff
2. Fold in agave, vanilla and coconut
3. Drop batter onto a parchment lined baking sheet, one rounded tablespoonful at a time
4. Pinch each macaroon at the top (like a kiss)
5. Bake at 350 degrees* for 10-15 minutes, until lightly browned
6. Serve

(This recipe came from a gluten free food blog... Elana's Pantry Check it out if you are looking for more of the gluten free treats and tricks... And I love her pantry... Beautiful.)

The next recipe is great. The blog that I pulled it from has great "how to" step by step photos. Talk about looking easy and kids would make a quick and sticky mess of it... But it did make me think that matzoh might not be a bland as I usually do... Take a look... Try it out... Mail me some... Because if I have to make a batch, I'll make the whole box... Zoe Bakes


Chocolate Caramel Matzoh for Passover (or any other time!)

4-6 unsalted matzohs
1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter or Passover margarine
1 cup firmly packed brown sugar
1/2 cup chocolate chips (Marcy calls for 1/4 cup but I need more!)
Line a baking sheet with foil. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

In a sauce pot cook the butter and sugar over medium high heat for about 3 to 5 minutes, whisking constantly. The caramel may melt and be transparent or it may look more crystallized looking as in this batch. It doesn’t seem to matter once you bake it. Spread it evenly over the matzohs.

Bake for about 15 minutes. Check half way through to make sure it is not browning too quickly. Rotate pan.

Remove from oven and add the chocolate. Let the chocolate sit for 5 minutes and then spread evenly over the matzohs. Allow to cool to room temperature. If your kitchen is too warm for the chocolate to set on its own then place in the refrigerator until set.

Break into strips or bite sized pieces.

Friday, March 28, 2008

Hawaii Day Five...


-Hawaiian morning rush
-Kilauea Iki crater walk
-Lazy afternoon
-Nighttime tradition

Walkin' on the Moon... That was what stepping across the crater's surface was like... Belches of sulfurous steam and gaseous smoke filled the air, leaving your throat lasting vaguely like strike-anywhere matches had been scraped across it. It permeated everything and it was inescapable.

We walked through what seemed like a pre-historic jungle and arrived at a sudden view, startling for it's vast starkness. Here and there tiny plants struggled for a crack of life to sustain itself. And for almost as far as the eye could see, was the hole of the crater, like a gaping maw, waiting to swallow you whole.

Down into the crater we went, step after step. My head pounded from the smell and the glare. (Only halfway across did it cross The Boyfriend's mind to tell me to put on my sunglasses. Which helped my eyes, but did nothing for my poor assaulted nose and throat.)

Sound travels differently in the crater. Birds in the surrounding jungle seem as if they are right in front of you. Your spoken words sound blunt and buffered. And the crunch of the lava beneath your feet is almost ominous as you realize that about a mile below you lava still swirls. In places you can feel the heat through your shoes and warm your feet uncomfortably.

About halfway across, it seems as if you have been walking forever. And that you still have forever to go to reach the other side. The unbidden thought that the earth COULD shift and open up below you is pushed from your mind again and again as you tell yourself that this IS a safe thing to be doing, crossing the cooled surface of a volcano's crater. You can almost feel the nervous laughter escape your lips, and you walk on.

Light-headed, you finally reach the other side and begin the ascent back up and into the jungle. Back to where there are living things, and green, and cooler breezes, and (hopefully) fresher air.

It is not until you are back in your car, bumping along the highway, many miles past the volcanoes that you can finally such in a sweet breath of air. And you gulp it in so quickly that you start to choke on it. And THAT is when it clicks into your brain that you really did it... You really just spent the afternoon hiking across the huge crater of a volcano (and lived to tell the tale). Your next thought is that you really would love to sit out on the lanai, look out onto the ocean, and sip on a cool beer.

And that is what we did. (Well... I had a juice spiked with 7UP, The Boyfriend enjoyed a beer, but in the end, it's really all the same thing.)

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Hawaii Day Four...



-Hawaiian morning rush
-Off roading in Na' alehu
-South Point
-Flying kites
-Tide pools
-Scaring the cows
-Nighttime tradition
-The Boyfriend ill

Somewhere during the vacation, and not too many days in, both The Boyfriend and I lost a day. Or rather, we thought that we were a day ahead of where we were. Talk about being on local time... We took that to the extreme. Forget about hours having no meaning, days no longer had a place either. It was either daylight or dark. We were either going and doing, or just chilling out. There was no more pressing need for anything. Even yours truly, the poster child for type-A planning, tossed aside the list of things to do and just “went with it”.

And that was how Day Four went... We gathered up our packed lunch and camelbak, along with a truly beautiful kite and went in search of a grand location to fly it. This was found along the cliffs in the soft, tall grasses at South Point. The air was as soft as the grasses, and as warm as the ocean spray. It was breathtaking. The sky was glorious and the butterflies danced along the miniature orchids in the expanse of fields.

We napped on the grass, The Boyfriend and I. It reminded me of the nursery rhyme of Little Boy Blue... Just one of those lazy days where the rocking of the Jeep over the sandy bumps in the grasses felt more like a massage and less like the jolts of typical off roading. I was so relaxed that I was all but asleep before we got there. Awake just enough to snap a photo here and there of all the pretty sights that caught my eye.

If you ever want to fly a kite, this is THE place to do it. Wonderful breezes that pull at the string and dance the kite along. And the colors of the kite stand out like the flowers in the surrounding jungle... Even the streamers swirl better here.

Then we hopped back into the Jeep, which The Boyfriend decided needed a Hawaiian name, henceforth known as Eep'ee Ele' (The jeep, not The Boyfriend.) and did some more off-roading to get back to the house. On the way, we passed the road that goes to nowhere (Unless the more daring of the Hawaiians would like to dispute that a road that leads off a cliff and then suddenly disintegrates in mid-air about a 150 feet in the air above the ocean really does go somewhere...) and took some photos... And then a pretty herd of cows... Of which I saw a cute calf nursing and wanted to get photos of. So The Boyfriend stopped Eep'ee Ele' on the side of the road so that I could walk back to get my shots of the cows...

That is when the biggest cow in the bunch decided that I was a horrible scary being that must be run away from. And it mooed to the other cows to join it. It ran about 50 feet away, literally jumping over a couple other smaller cows to get away from the terrible mainlander who so selfishly had thought to snap a few photos... The other cows scattered up the little hill after the big cow, the mother cow ripping the tit out of the calf's suckling mouth with a loud pop in her haste to join the others.

There they stood all huddled together. I could almost see them shivering in fear. I have never felt so badly in my life. I was laughing because I felt so bad. (Why is that? When emotions run so deep, all I do is laugh. And that is not at all what I wanted to do. Really I felt terrible, but there I was trudging back to Eep'ee Ele' laughing like a fool...)

The rest of the day was good, but after the cows, it took a slower and more quiet pace... We went through the Hawaiian vacation tradition, cooking, showering, eating, passing out cold in bed, totally ready for another start and another day on the island...

Later that night... The Boyfriend woke up ill... Really ill... Sick and shivering and all clammy... After a bit of apologizing for being ill (Yup, always thoughtful my sweet boyfriend is... Like he CHOSE to get sick...) about a hundred times, The Boyfriend finally settled down for the rest of the night in a fitful sleep...

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Seeing the obvious... Again...


I saw a photo that a friend posted up about her fishing trip... It looked like she was having the time of her life... (Enough that I can hear my brothers muttering something about scaring off all the fish... Though they did catch fish, there were photos of that too...) What I got from the photo may not be what most would have...

They were being silly... They were laughing... They were having a good time... (Sure that is what everyone else would see...) But this friend is always SO put together... She may be wild and crazy, but she is polished... And there she was, on the boat, in mix-matched clothes and still as cute as ever... She had this silly football cozy for her drink... (As in it was a football shaped cozy that was the size of a tiny pop warner football...) And she looked... Happy.

This friend takes the best photos. Never have I known anyone more photogenic... But to look at these photos, there is something different... Her eyes are not so... So... Well, the word escapes me, but she looked more alive and sparkly than I have seen in any other photo...

And it made me think that perhaps being perfect is not what it is all about... Perhaps one CAN be happy in mix-matched clothes and a silly football cozy... Perhaps it is not so bad that all the coffee cups don't match, or that the only sweater in the car does not go with the outfit you have on... Perhaps there is more to life than the outer appearances... (And YES, I do already know this... But it was a slamming revelation all the same...)

So there you have it... My observation for the day... I'm going to go put on mix-matched socks and grab the first sweater I see, sit at the computer, sip my herbal tea, and be happy for the rest of the day...

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Wedding Math... What do I do?


So here it is...

My Dad really wants to see me get married. I think almost more than he wants me married. I don't know why, it's not as if I have not been married before. It's not even as if I did not have a huge wedding with all the trimmings before. Even The Boyfriend was married before and did the wedding thing. So none of the parents have been deprived of a wedding... But it seems like this is something that they want. (Though the only one who has voiced an opinion over the thing has been my Dad. And my brother, Aaron. But not anything like my Dad. And not nearly as often.)

So here is the situation...

My brother Nathan, his wife Robin, and their four children have a farm in upstate NY. They cannot leave the farm. Too many animals, it's planing season and so on... Later it will be farm work and then harvesting. If there is any time that they *might* be able to leave, it would be in the dead of winter, and quite frankly, I love my family, but I am not waiting that long.

My 2nd Mother lives in upstate NY as well.

The Boyfriend's parents live on the west coast, but not in CA.

My Mother, Step-Father, Brother, Father, and my Father's girlfriend all live in Southern California.

The Boyfriend and I are in Northern CA.

Everyone has money that they need to be using for other daily life activities. The parents all have car and house payments, the brothers are working hard to make ends meet, and The Boyfriend is doing his best to make a home. (This means scraping together an expensive down payment for an *affordable* house in the Bay Area. I can hear you all laughing over the concept of place affordable and Bay Area together in the same sentence.) Needless to say, I think that the money spent on a wedding would be better spent on other things. I just can't justify it. (I am also not that selfish to ask my family to cough up the money and make them all stress about it and/or feel bad.) Nor can I accept that it is right to have one parent (out of four sets) be the only observers in this event. And then there are the siblings...

All I wanted was to be married on the 12th (of whenever, but not too far off...) and to have some really awesome photos taken so that I can hang them on the wall and have something to show our children. The Boyfriend seems fine with this.

After last night's latest pushing from my Father as to WHEN (we don't know) and that he needs to be there... And then talking to my brother, only to discover that my Father is up to his old tricks of pressure one sibling so that they will pressure the other... (It's not just my Dad, the whole family on that side does it. It's like breathing to us all... Poor Boyfriend...) I am starting to get the message that he is not going to let this drop. And something is going to have to be said. (Which means a yelling and screaming match. That is just how it works.) And I am dreading it.

So I slept on it.

And this is what I came up with. (After tossing and turning being tormented by fits of endless bad dreams and a solid elbow to The Boyfriend's face...) Let my Dad pay for the wedding he wants so badly.

Is this terrible?

I did some quick investigating and this is what I came up with...

There are fewer people to fly out to NY than to CA. Plus the family in NY can't get away, so it all works out there. So assuming that we all fly out there in June, the ballpark cost of airfare is $3700. And then it crossed my mind that people need a place to stay for the approximate five day weekend that this would mean.

I figured that flying out on Wednesday the 11th, wedding on the 12th, dinner party at my 2nd Mom's (Minus 1/2 my family, long story there...) on the 13th, who knows what on the 14th, and flight back on the 15th which is a Sunday. Crammed, but not too crammed.

I figured that The Boyfriend and I would stay with 2nd Mother. My one brother would stay with the other brother at the farm. My Mother and Step-Dad, along with The Boyfriend's parents would be at one motel, while my Dad and his girlfriend would be at another motel. (It's in the middle of nowhere, there are only Motel's) The guestimate cost for this (After a quick on-line look) would be $1800.

I am not counting for food and so on. No cake. No flowers. No photos. (I must have photos of some sort though...) I had picked up my Mother's wedding dress from her while I was home for Christmas. I have some fabric that I was going to use to re-work the length. Bing about 7 inches taller than my Mother, it is a necessary thing. I was going to do the dress thing for the photos that I wanted for the wall...) The total cost of the wedding (So far, I'm not new to this, I do know about hidden and unforeseen costs...) is $5500. So let's just say $6000. OUCH!

All I keep hearing in my head is SIX GRAND??? For a wedding that is not necessary?

Okay. I'll admit it. It would be nice to have it all work out like that. It would be great to include our closest family members in this day. It would be cute to see my brother's four small children playing wedding and tossing flower petals and passing pillows and being cute. If I were to be totally honest, it is exactly what I want. (Okay, I think I may cry here...) But I also have learned that money does not grow on trees, and this is ONE day, or five, but what I really want is countless days in a home of our own.

My cousin married a woman from another country. It was his second wedding, her first. Her family could not make it here for the wedding. So they eloped. We all knew that they would do it. When they told us all, we were thrilled. Then there was a huge family party for them. Nothing fancy, just a typical family party, all 150 of us together eating tons of family cooked food and eating sheet cake. It was wonderful and stress free. Then they went to Prague and had a family party there for her side. This is how I thought it would be with The Boyfriend and I.

But I have to talk to my Father soon. Is it wrong for me to make him this proposition?

And there is another concern. A really important one. The Boyfriend has a lot on his plate right now. And I handed the proposal over to him. And this morning I told him that I was sorry for the added pressure from my family. That I want him to do things that are right for him, and on his own time frame. And I meant it. I would rather never be married than to have The Boyfriend pressured into doing this before he is ready. I want him to think that it is the most wonderful CHOICE in the world, not that he HAD to. So I just don't see how I can speak to my Dad about it until The Boyfriend has decided that he is ready to take that step. It's not that I am making excuses or avoiding a conversation that I don't want to have with my Father, it really would be unfair and unkind to the kindest man I have ever known. I just can't do it. I won't.

So what do I do? (But before that question, is it right for me to make the proposition to my Dad in the first place?)

(Sigh) Life is complicated...