Little Changes...

So...

I made a few small changes yesterday... And they seem to have gone over rather well. I was a bit unsure at the time, especially as they were changes in someone else's home. Someone else as in The Boyfriend.

Yeah...

I did that thing that "other" females have always been the ones to do. That thing that I swore I would never do. That sort of thing that I have teased other females about (relentlessly) for years... I nested.

Yeah...

I went shopping for a dinner party that we were having for a work colleague of The Boyfriend's. You know, for a soap dish and some milk... That sort of thing. The sort of thing that does not cross boundaries and lines... That sort of thing that says: "I am a loving and supportive girlfriend and I respect your home for being your home." Except that it wasn't a home, it has just been a place for him to stay. And I did not respect his boundaries, I jumped into the wild blue without any idea of where the boundaries may have been, or how far I might have been crossing them.

So over to the dark side I went. Happily...

And I do mean dark side. Anyone who knows me well will tell you that I have a thing for all white dishes. All white linens. All white bedding and towels and rugs and pillow coverings and draperies. I love the neutral mix and match of all things beige and white. Tonal differences of the slightest degree. I love the differences of texture and fabrics to make up the cozy statement of my home's decor. (And before you gasp and say that I must not have children, know that if you have white in a natural fiber you can easily use bleach to remove any stain... Yes, perhaps I am related to my Father after all... He uses bleach like the father in My Big Fat Greek Wedding uses Windex... My life is like that movie... Really. But I love that.) Even my furniture is being "restored" and painted a mix of whites... Heaven to me has been the palette chart at Lowes that has all of the different white paint chips in one handy book... And when they are side by side like that, you can really see the nuances of pinks and blues and yellows that are hidden under the white of the whites...

The Boyfriend once sent me a text that said that I am a bit like the color in the movie of his life... I love that message. I keep it on my phone and delete other around it so that I can look at it when I feel a little down... But really, it is likely the other way around... He is vibrant and into bright colors... Bold colors... Lots of colors... He likes burnt umber and rusty oranges... Sage greens and deep olive tones... A mix of woods and black leather make up his home furnishings... And somehow, those colors have been bleeding into my mind's eye... Seeping into the crevices of my brain while I have been spending so much time visiting The Boyfriend at his residence.


Notice that I have not used the word home in reference to The Boyfriend's abode? He has been on the move, much as I have been, for the past few years... And has not yet settled in... (I may never settle down, he may never settle in, this may never go anywhere... But then magic happens, so you never know...)

So...

I went shopping for a soap dish. For the bathroom. So that company would not have to reach into the shower to get at the soap if they wanted to wash their hands... But that was not what happened...


I found a soap dish. White. Ceramic. Oval and just the right depth to hold the truly decadent soaps that a friend of The Boyfriend's makes... It even went into the shopping cart. But near to the soap dishes were shower curtains. (The Boyfriend has a plain white thin plastic liner as his shower curtain... Shhh... Even I have limits for things that are white...) There was a curtain that called out to me. Singing out my name and begging me to take it with me and hang it up and to cross over that line where it seems all females eventually end up crossing... It was similar to a shower curtain that The Boyfriend's Uncle had in the guest bath that both of us just loved. It looks like something out of Pottery Barn. It is all of the colors that make up The Boyfriend's linens and all the colors that I have been leaning towards all these past months without reasonable explanation... It was... Perfect. It would tie it all together and make his bathroom a room. So into the cart it went...


I had napkins on my list. Fine. But I grew up using cloth napkins. The Boyfriend even has four somewhere that we have not been able to find since I helped him to unpack. So we have been using wash cloths, or paper towels, or our clothing... But there is company coming. I can't... Well... I won't ask then to use their trousers to wipe their hands upon. Just like I won't ask them to use the soap out of the shower to wash their hands. So napkins were on the list. Turns out that I like the fall and winter sort of neutrals too... I added three sets of four napkins to the cart. A gold satin striped set, a muted rust cotton set, and a super soft natural open weave linen set edged in chocolate brown. Perfect. Of course a set of four place mats joined the napkins... A set of woven (plastic, washable) industrial looking place mats in a mix of taupes, silvers, grays, and black. They are minimalist and modern and masculine. All the M's that The Boyfriend would like. I just knew it, so in the cart they went... As well as a single muted rust linen over-sized place mate with taupe detail to place in the center of the table or on a side board...

You would think this was where I stopped. But no.

A set of silverware for six. (I counted out forks before I left and no, there were not enough for salad, dinner, and dessert. There were enough for dinner and three salad, or dinner and three dessert, but not a whole meal for four.)

And then I saw it. That thing that made my heart swell up and pound like it was the drummer in a ticker tape parade... A bowl. Not what you were expecting right? A bowl. Sort of anti-climatic huh? (But those are the simple things that have made my passions soar... I have long had a thing for kitchen stuff, especially dishes... And this was some dish...)


Unlike all of my dishes... White and clean lines and from the euphoric bliss of Crate and Barrel... This bowl was COLOR. (And it was not oven safe, which up until THIS BOWL has always been a requirement for my everyday dishes...) But it was THIS BOWL. It was perfect. It was... Well... I could easily wax on about THIS BOWL for paragraphs, but I won't torture you. But I will stop with this... For the moment...

So...

Six of the bowls went into the cart. As did four small and deep cereal style bowls. (They are a plain natural ceramic glaze with a super soft sage band around the top and tie in the totally perfect bowls with the rest of my dishes... And I needed something to put another course that was added last minute in... So they were practical too...) A serving plate, that was also not white made it into the cart, along with four small white salad/dessert plates and a white coffee maker (to brew and serve hot tea with ease)... I contemplated more, but (finally) figured that I had enough...


I purchased my booty, loaded it into my car, hauled it up the stairs, washed and dried everything. Ironed the napkins and shower curtain, and set to work making The Boyfriend's house a home.

Dinner was ready. Salads plated and waiting in the fridge, main course plated and warming in the oven, dessert plated and sitting on the sideboard with the trappings for hot tea, bowls prepped and waiting for the added course to the meal... I was ready.

Ready, but nervous. I had not mentioned anything about my changes to The Boyfriend other than the soap dish. And I have not done this sort of thing before. I only just got my own set of keys to his place and now I am making changes to it... Oh... The nerve and the nerves...

He came home with his company. He looked a little surprised at the place mats and napkins, but not overly so. He gave a tour of his home and when I he got to the bathroom he blurted out something like he thought it was his bathroom... But that was not his (meaning the shower curtain) and look there was a new soap dish... We joked about it for a moment... He really did seem to be okay about it. But then again, The Boyfriend is a very, very laid back sort of person. It is one of the things that I like best about him. The man is virtually unflappable.


And then he saw the dishes as I set them on the table. And the next set and so on as the evening unfolded. His eyes kept twinkling and dancing at me from across the table as the night wore on... He looked happy and contented and relaxed... And it was good.

When he returned later that night from taking his company home, we talked about my "changes" at great length... (Yet another huge reason that I adore this man... He will talk about the things that I love to great extent, even if he would have had a two minute conversation about it if it were left up to him and his interests, and he really cares what is running around in my head about it all... I love that.)

It turns out he is okay with all of my additions to his home. And he was a bit in wonder at how easily I tied all of his things together with just a few pieces. And he was interested in what else I would do... And he love THE BOWLS. (So of course now I just HAVE to have a whole set... And before you ask, a whole set is 24. I have a large family and I like to entertain. And with bowls that I could not later replace, I would be content with 30, just in case for chips and breaks and so on... Excessive, I know, but it is me...) It also turns out that he loves one have of the bowl and I love the other. It is an "US" bowl. It also turns out that his eyes are hazel. Mostly green with a ring of rust around the pupil and flecks of gold shot through. I love his eyes. My eyes are dark brown with shots of espresso and mahogany shot through... Not as exciting, but I like them. These bowls are the colors of our eyes. These bowls really are "US" bowls...

I love these bowls...
I love that I can make these sorts of additions and changes to The Boyfriend's home and he is happy and (possibly) even content for the effect that they have...
I love The Boyfriend and the way that he loves me...

Yeah...

Life is good.

And he just may be a bit like the color in the movie of MY life too...




Note:
If anyone wants to know... The dishes were from WalMart of all places... Not Pottery Barn or Crate and Barrel witch are my usual places of preference. Remember that I was just out for a simple soap dish...

The Manufacturer is Home Trends and the Style of Bowl that I fell in love with is called Jazz. ($1.96 each)

The style of the serving plate, that is really just a huge dinner plate, is called Natural Serenity. ($3.77 each)

The cereal style bowls are manufactured by Mainstays Home and the style is called Valejo Tan Band... (For $0.56 each they were the bargain of the day.)

There is something to be said for keeping an open mind when shopping... While none of the dishes I purchased were oven safe, they are dishwasher and microwave safe... An irony for me, since I do not use either... But I know that most folks do...

The place mats were also by Home Trends, the style is called Central Park, the code 092041VPM-Multi. they are made with an outer shell of Polyvinyl Chloride and an inner core of 100% Polyester. (According to the tag you can order them on-line...) They were $2.84 each... A good price considering that they will likely look like new in 15 years and they seem durable enough to withstand children as well as daily use. And I really like the option of wiping them down and/or washing them in the sink rather than the washing machine... No shrinking and ironing for these babies...

The napkins that The Boyfriend liked best were the super soft natural open weave linen set edged in chocolate brown. Turns out that they are not linen, they are 100% Polyester. (My fingers and the iron knew this, my eyes did not...) They are a Holiday item, soon to be gone, but the manufacturer is Harvest, the item number is 7HVTC-PC2NP, and the price was $1.96 for a pair.

The other napkins were by Home Trends, the style was Copper Pipe, the price was $3.96 for a pair. They are the most wonderful muted rust color and 100% cotton. They were yummy to wipe fingers on and thick enough to keep my clothes clean when I spilled a bit of salad on my lap... The gold satin stripe napkins came as a set of 4 and cost $4.97. The item number is 082092402131.

And lastly the shower curtain is called Braden by Home Trends. It is 100% Polyester and was a dream to iron out the folds and creases. It is actually really long, as you can see from the photo, which I really liked. The price is a secret, since it was a gift. But it was reasonable and fair.

So... Mom... If you are wondering about a Christmas gift... I would love a gazillion place mats...

Everyone else... Happy shopping!

(And no, WalMart and Home Trends did NOT pay me to advertise for them. I am just that thrilled. And that is as uncommon as my posting product information.)

Ask and Receive...

So yesterday I was feeling overwhelmed with all of the cleaning that I have left to do at the new place... So much left to move out just to get to the walls to clean them. I was procrastinating in the worst way... I buried myself deep in the cyber hole also known as my laptop... And if you read my Blog yesterday, you'll remember this:

34.)Q. If you could spend 12 hours with me and ask/do anything you like, what would it be?
34.)A. Right now? I would ask for help moving a sofa into the garage, I have been trying to get that done for ages by myself and it just isn't happening...

Well... Later in the evening there was a knock at my door. One of my neighbors stopped by to see if he could be of any assistance. Did I need any help moving things or fixing things... He would be available right then or all day today... (I kid you not.) I hesitated only a long pause before replying that if he was serious that there was a sofa and a mattress that I just could not get out to the garage by myself, and would LOVE his help.

He looked about the very cluttered room and said that he could help with the rest of the furniture as well. I did not want to impose... Needless to say, the whole room has been cleared out and is now sitting stacked up in the garage waiting for a good home. And he is going to put the word out and see if anyone wants the old stuff...

A few beers later we were laughing over his magnetic photo album filled with hysterical Polaroids of the goof ball things that he has done with his co-workers over the course of his career. (Turns out my neighbor is something of a Paladin with a great sense of light-hearted humor...)

I had the best night! I got so much accomplished in such a short amount of time because I had help... Help that came to me because I have been too stubborn to go asking for it... (I thought I had this lesson learned the hard way. Hmmm, possibly not... But I am grateful for the gentle and pleasant reminder...) And I received even more than I had hoped for. Kindness and human connection... Possibly even a new friend.

(So EL, your comment about being careful about what you ask for did not go unnoticed... It was something that I used to say quite often and had just let myself forget... And Mom, I remember what you said about what you receive may not be what you envisioned when you are asking, but it is always what you need...)

Fuego de los Muertos...

So we went...
We saw...
We participated...
In what seemed like almost everything...

A bite of this...
A taste of that...
A hug here...
A dance there...

New friends...
Net friends...
Sibling bonding...

It was all good...

And then the wind kicked in...
And picked up...
Picked up my tent too...
Like a giant breathing monster, heaving in and out, puffing up billowing clouds of dust and dirt...

So we packed it in...
Then packed it out...

And were home in time to take a shower...
And then another...
And crawl in between clean sheets...
Dreaming of food we were too tired to fix...

And then the fires came...

And I was glad for the niggling need in the back of my scull telling me to toss in the towel and go home...
I would not have made it there otherwise...

So there is something to be said for that gut reaction, instinct and intuition thing...

And in the end...
There are happy memories and photos...
The photos I'll share...
The rest...
Well...
You just had to be there...

FDLM 2007

Drowning in Claustrophobia...

Claustrophobia is getting to me hard today... For some unknown reason, I can't shake the feeling of being boxed in, suffocated and unable to draw a deep enough breath... It is overwhelming and it has me feeling a little grumpy... I am drowning in it...

I am back at home... And I would rather be any place else... But I can't think of any place that I would like to be...

I am tired and my brain does not want to think, but I don't want to escape into a movie either. I have had more than my fill of escaping and if the past couple of days have shown me anything, it is that I just want to really LIVE my life, not play at it here and there...

I am weary of the dust and dirt and the chaos that surrounds me... Surrounds me in the physical sense... Stuff and clutter everywhere... Dirt and dust and grime seems to expand faster than I can clean it up... Mountains of things that just need to go away, and yet I have not been taking the time to do more than trundle armload after armload out to the dumpster...

I am restless and unfocused and I just want to be done with it all already... Too many projects... Too much left undone... And never enough time... And I am longing to bury my head under the covers and wish it all away... But THAT is something that I cannot do... That would be childish and lazy... So I will pull on some work gloves... Cram my broken toe into a pair of tennis shoes... And go work on emptying out the garage... It is hot outside... And I will be grimy when I am done for the day... (I say for the day because I know better... There is too much to be rid of to be done in an afternoon...) But then I will have a reason to pout that is valid... Instead of being frustrated indoors, as I am right now...

I would like to be on a plane to see The Boyfriend... But it is not practical or reasonable... I really want to just be held for a bit, but if I can't settle myself, how in the world could someone else... So he goes for a bike ride while the weather holds up there, and I am off to clean the garage down here...

And then, perhaps, I will take myself out to dinner... Though I fret about the food establishments out here... I am picky by normal standards in cities... Out in the rural lands where the food is less than palatable and even chain places do not dare to exist, I am more than a little afraid... My happiness for a good taco salad with tons of crisp lettuce and juicy tomatoes... Now THAT would be bliss indeed...

So true... But...

The hardest challenge is to be yourself in a world where everyone is trying to make you be somebody else. -- E. E. Cummings

So true...
But...

It makes me wonder if we are the biggest culprits of them all...

What would happen if it all just was...
If we just were...


But then that makes me wonder so much more...

In the end...
I hope...

100 Things I Learned at Burning Man...

1. Photos will happen when you look your worst, are wearing the ugliest thing you brought, or have no make up on.
2. Getting lost leads to art car adventures.
3. Sunscreen for infants is full spectrum and when applied at least twice a day results in no sunburn.
4. Those that like you will ask to borrow your mirror, those that don’t will invade your tent and just “borrow” it.
5. Cutting nails as short as possible before going is a good idea, if you don’t, they will just rip off anyway.
6. Always ask a person’s camp name, it will last longer in the memory than a personal name, and then you can find them again later.
7. Texture wax is not a good idea to apply on the playa, it needs to be done before the trip out.
8. Texture wax when mixed with playa dust becomes uni-dread.
9. You’ll never wear as many clothes as you pack, but you’ll always wish for more panties no matter how many you take.
10. The same thing goes for socks.
11. If you have the killer coat, it won’t be cold enough to wear it as often as you like.
12. Lemon juice is the savior of playa foot.
13. Temporary tanning eye shields work great to tint clear goggles for the sun.
14. Picking up moop while wearing gloves is actually fun.
15. Being a shadow dancer is fun, but harder than it looks.
16. Jumping on a big trampoline is fun, but easier than it looks.
17. Big teeter-totters are kinda scary.
18. Reversible playa coats are the way to go, they look better, keep you warmer and take up less space.
19. Goggles with rubber edges will make you sweat around the eyes and leave ring around your cheeks.
20. Dried fruit and beef jerky really are all you need to survive a week out in the desert, but you’ll miss other foods terribly.
21. Bright colors in the daytime look best against the desert dust.
22. White is great for night, the better to have fun with all of the black lights.
23. Minmai buns are the way to go for long hair that is not braided.
24. Facial cleansing cloths are better than wipes in that they have a great lather and can be re-wetted enough to scrub an entire body well.
25. Wet wipes work great to remove the soap from facial cleansing cloths.
26. Wet wipes work even better when lemon juice is poured onto them and then applied to hands and feet.
27. No matter how light you pack, there will still be food not eaten, water jugs not opened, and clothes not worn.
28. There is never enough time to do, try, see, experience everything.
29. Some people want to tell you everything, others really are escaping for the week.
30. Moop happens no matter how hard you try to avoid it.
31. It is more fun to set up than to tear down.
32. The one photo that you think you look your worst in will be the one with the most memories attached to it.
33. The vibe at the beginning of the week is very different than at the end of it.
34. If you see something cool that you want to do, do it right then, once the moment passes, it will be hard to return.
35. “Embrace the dust” really has a meaning. It gets into everything and is utterly unavoidable.
36. Be careful when taking unmarked drinks from others.
37. Emergen-c is a real lifesaver when mixed with airborne, thera-flu and gator-aide.
38. And it is perfect for the morning-after-whatever revival concoction.
39. Time flies faster than you think.
40. Sunset lasts longer than it does at home.
41. Playa time really does exist, its just that no one can tell when it is, ever.
42. Projects left to be done on the playa take longer than allotted, no matter how simple.
43. Friends can be found anywhere, especially where least expected.
44. Conversation with strangers has never been so easy and continuous.
45. Connecting with people you met on the playa is harder than imagined.
46. Band-aide blister blocks melts in the heat and does not works nearly as well as just using fabric band-aides beforehand anyway.
47. The carcass wash is an experience that must be tried. It looses something in the explanation.
48. What happens on the playa everyone knows about in 0.26 seconds, but they are as likely to forget about it just as fast.
49. Those that stay in motor homes and rvs may have air conditioning, bathrooms, bathing and real beds, but they miss out on the bonding of the camp.
50. It’s good to have friends in motor homes and rvs that share the cool air and a drink in the middle of the afternoon.
51. Dust hurts if it is hitting you at 60 mph.
52. Double rainbows are worth whiteouts and rain.
53. Walking from one end of the Playa to the other takes longer than you’d expect.
54. There will never be enough photos.
55. Going without your camera is fun.
56. Bring a back up pair of boots, just in case.
57. Double bag your “going home” clothes to keep them clean and dry.
58. Drink water. Then drink some more.
59. Powdered drink mixes added to water help to restore electrolytes and make the water taste better and less boring.
60. Make a batch of drink mix concentrate and add to the bottles, pouring powdered mixes on the playa can be messy and moopy.
61. If you think something might melt, it probably will.
62. The less you have to put in a cooler, the fewer trips for ice you need to make and the less grey water you have to worry about.
63. Wear darker lipstick than you would at home, the dust turns everything to shades of playa and you end up looking like Uncle Henry and Aunty Em…
64. I am totally the one to be placed in charge of breakfasts and morning-after all-nighter fix-em-up concoctions.
65. Getting up with the sun is inevitable. Embracing it as the morning person I am is just plain fun.
66. A dust mask is vital. Really.
67. Being a morning person can be very useful.
68. Nighttime is a good time to practice riding a bike in the secret confines of the camp. Everyone is out partying or too drunk to remember that you made a fool of yourself falling over the side of the bike.
69. Always bring toilet paper to the porta-potties with you, the one time you forget, there will not be any left and air drying sucks.
70. Toilet paper can be folded up into little squares and tucked under the back of a bra strap.
71. No matter how well prepared you are sometimes you just get caught with your pants down.
72. Other times you get caught bathing, sleeping in public, dancing like a fool, doing something totally silly, or wolfing down dinner on your way out of camp.
73. If everyone cleans up after themselves and picks up the things others may have "accidentally" left behind then the world would be in much better shape.
74. Picking up MOOP can be habit forming and lasts long after you leave the Playa.
75. When you take someone out of their general context you sometimes end up with a different person.
76. Sometimes you end up liking the different person more, sometimes less. Sometimes, it is just better to be with strangers because you won’t know the difference between their Playa personality and their At-home personality.
77. “The Playa is a microcosm of life in general. On the Playa you will see a little bit of everything and people from all over the world. The best thing is that everyone is getting along with little difficulty. Even the usual BS you would expect when you but 40k plus people together seems to either not happen or to resolve itself without incident.”
78. Waiting out a white-out is much more fun with friends.
79. Participation is fabulous, but sometimes it is a good thing to sit on your hands.
80. “Good karma happens. I was amazed just how often I would need a cold drink and one would appear or how often I would be thinking about shade and someone would invite me to have a cold one with them under their sunshade. Heck when I was hungry someone always offered me food and good food at that.”
81. Creativity may limitless, but I swear that there must be at least 5,000 ways to re-invent the wheel.
82. “Sometimes you just have to roll with it. I was caught up in some situations that at first even made me a little uncomfortable but when I just relaxed I realized that it was all good and had a good time living outside of my box.”
83. “I thought the noise at night would be louder, more ubiquitous, and more annoying to me.”
84. Camping in the center has it’s advantages. You are closer to the ice and coffee and further from the all night music makers.
85. Having a Karaoke bar across the street can be fun and entertaining.
86. Bringing all the pretty costumes is a wonderful thing, but sometimes the dust storms happen and you pull out the worst looking thing you own just to be covered quickly and hope you don’t ruin the “good” stuff.
87. I swallowed the whole fish. (a saying among American Zen Practitioners.)
88. “I hoped I'd like it less so I wouldn't feel so bummed if I can't make it next year.”
89. Expect the unexpected.
90. It all ends too soon, but somehow seems to last forever.
91. It was worth everything to get there, just for the experience, even if you never go again.
92. DECOMs, PreCOMs, Regionals, and other “Burner” events are great, but Burning Man is its own animal.
93. No matter how many time you go, or how much research you do, you’ll never be able to adequately explain it to someone that has never gone.
94. No matter the community, with 50,000 people in attendance, you are going to come across a little bit of everything.
95. If you say that “this is my last burn”, chances are, you’ll be back. Again and again.
96. Astral Head-wash is heaven sent.
97. A smile can fix anything on the Playa. Seriously. Try it and see.
98. Some people are born Burners, other people become them.
99. Even if it doesn’t “feel like coming home”, it’s still a great place to be.
100. I want to go back. (I know, big surprise.)

I went, I saw, I committed TREE...

Yesterday was a strange day... It was bound to be... It was SF DECOM...

Yes... We made it... A few hours later that I had planned... But you know how it goes when nothing is what you want to wear and all you can think of is chocolate... I need chocolate... Must have chocolate... Can't have chocolate...

But arrive we did... In our Playa-wear, ready to see and be seen... And see we did. It was an orgasmic eye-candy extravaganza to behold... Finery and frippery everywhere... Smiles and hugs and more hugs... I waffled between a tourist with my camera glued to my face, snapping away at everything, and a participant laughing and dancing with the best of them...

There are tons of photos... I posted some in my photos if you want to take a gander... Please... Leave a comment... It's like a verbal hug, or a way of saying that you came and saw... Also... If you would like to see the full album of things that caught my interest at the DECOM yesterday... If you feel like playing a Burner version of "Where's Waldo"... Feel free to take a peek at my Picasa album.

San Francisco DECOM 2007

In there you might find:
a polar bear
a pair of penguins
too many tutus
a bevy of bees
escapees from gerlach county prison
a handful of hoopers
flags a flyin'
a tiny twirler
several stilters
endless enjoyment plastered on happy faces
a couple of kisses
a few lookie-loos
and of course... me... committing tree

Yup...

Yesterday was indeed momentous... The Boyfriend and I did the unthinkable... Caught up in the moment, and with heartfelt thanks to the Tree Huggers Camp, The Boyfriend and I committed TREE together. And there is a photo to prove it... And you can tell by my huge grin that this is a good thing... It is a huge step for us... A gigantic leap in the whole commitment arena... Who knows what may happen next? Babies, marriage, equity, dogs, other plants??? Well... Let us not put the cart before the horse... That stuff is still so very, very, very (did I say very?) far off... We'll leave all of those things to our friends. With a new announcement of : We're getting married/ having a baby/ had a baby/ bought a house/ got a puppy/ said "I love you"/ flying to the moon... that has been going on, there have been plenty of good things in the air. (And I am really, really, really (did I say really?) happy with OUR new tree...)

So...

Life is moving forward... And it's TREEmendously spectacular!

Well F**k...

I know... Me... Starting out a Blog with such a foul mouth... Late morning Potty Mouth here... Up and ready for action... Only, I had the wrong day... The action is tomorrow...

Well F**k...

DECOM is TOMORROW...
As in NOT TODAY...
As in Sunday...
Not Saturday...
As in I am sitting here getting directions for the best place to park the vehicle...
For 24 hours from now...
Not 4 hours from now...

Well F**k...

I am sitting here with my face all done up...
So done up that I will have to wash it before going anyplace so mundane...
My clothes are sitting strewn all over the floor...
Because I took the early morning playing dress up to see what I was in the mood to wear...
I even took a power nap...
Flat on my back...
Snoring in The Boyfriend's ear...
So that I would not mess up my make up and hair...
Better to annoy your loved one and not mess up hours of dress up...
Better to have a sore throat from sawing away for 40 minutes...
Better to have actually slept last night...
Since today is NOT the long awaited, much anticipated DECOM...
Since I STILL toss and turn all night when I am excited about something fun...
Like I am 5...

I must have read the date 5,000 times...
I must have read the day another 5,000 times...
I must have been nuts like 10,000 times...

Well... F**k...
(This is where The Boyfriend interjects that this is where the phrase "Ha Ha" is in order...)

(Yeah... Well the laugh is on him, who does he think is going to be not sleeping next to him again tonight? Who does he think is going to be laying there, desperately tired and thrashing about in that almost dreaming, yet still partly awake state? Who does he think is ALSO going to suffer from TWO nights of excited, restless, anticipation built up, lack of good nights slumber? Hmmm... "Ha Ha Boyfriend, we both suffer on this one...")

Well...

F**k...

F**k...
F**k...
F**K...

(sigh)

Well...

(You know in my head I am still jumping up and down, like I am 5, repeating that same word over and over and over... You also know that The Boyfriend is sitting on the sofa watching all of this and laughing his ass off...)

Grrr...
F**k...
Grrr...
F**k...
(sigh)
F**k...
F**k...
(sigh)
F**k...
Grrr...

(sigh)

Okay... I think I feel better now... Thanks... I'll see you all tomorrow then...

And if I happen to have a nice set of luggage under my pretty eyes when you see me at the DECOM...
"Well... F**K..."
At least now you'll know why...

Day 54: My New Home...

Dear Friends;

I know that it has been ages… And ages… And ages, for me to get back into a regular Blogging habit… This whole moving thing has just kept me hopping… (And scrubbing and cleaning and sorting and and and…)

I have gotten rid of about half of the stuff piled up in my new front room… It was taking up the whole room and was stacked up as tall as me… (Remind me to purge more of my own stuff when I am all done with this never-ending project… I hate the thought of being that old and having someone else burdened with all of my things and what to do with them…)

The furniture is another thing altogether… I have work gloves and heavy boots that will work for tearing down the already falling apart pressboard pieces… The whole idea of demolition is kind of foreign to me… I have worked so diligently with my Dad to refurbish old and long forgotten or abused pieces that to just tear something all to bits just makes me shake my head… But I guess in the end, the difference is falling apart pressboard and neglected real wood… I think I might just get into it though… Once I figure out how to bet go about it, that is…

Some of the things I have discovered about living alone at this point in my life are:

I can get up in the middle of the night and work for an hour if I can’t sleep. I don’t have to worry about disturbing anyone… I can scrub the walls, clean the shower, sort through boxes, pack for my next trip, surf the net… It does not matter if I turn on the light or make a little bit of noise… And when I am tired out again, I can crawl back into bed and not have to think about how I am going to fight for my part of the bed or covers again… The downside is that even with my heat retaining tempur-pedic bed, I still return to cold sheets rather than a warm body… I miss hearing the sound of another person sleeping peacefully next to me…

But… By sleeping alone, I can sleep sideways, diagonally, curled up, or sprawled out… I can get up and take my pillow to the other side of the bed if I feel like it… Even if the other side happens to be the foot of the bed… I have learned that I follow the moon, that I like to rotate my direction as the moon waxes and wanes… Odd, I know, but there it is… One of those totally secret single behaviors of mine totally revealed. By living and sleeping alone, I can do this without having to explain why I am ripping all the bed clothes up and turning us 45 degrees so that I can actually fall asleep… Ah… The life of an insomniac…

I can clean in my panties… Call me strange… But I like to clean in a tank top and boy shorts… Wild, bright colors… Soft, unrestrictive cotton… I feel extra productive if I add in a pair of mis-matched knee socks and what I have long referred to as my magic yellow gloves… With those industrial hand protectors, I can take on the icky stuff and not even flinch… They are what turn me from uber princess into superwoman extraordinaire… My work gloves for the heavy stuff, gardening gloves for the outside, and latex gloves for cooking are the same way… Now don’t get me wrong, I am not a germaphobe, I just like my hands protected… I will always shake a hand if it is offered, though I much prefer a hug… I only bring out the purell for when I handle large amounts of money, use public restrooms, or go camping… I have been this way since my Mom discovered that if I was ever going to do the dishes, I had to have something to put between my skin and the yuck… As soon as she gave me my first pair, I was hooked… And never complained about dishes again… (The funny thing is that culinary school broke me of using gloves to wash dishes… Full service for a four course meal for 200 can make even the best of hand protection futile… Besides, even a princess can be practical once she realizes that some things just have to be done, no matter what…)

I can play the radio whenever I like… And I can have it at that soft level that it seems only dogs and I can hear… Anything louder will give me a headache after a couple of minutes… And when there are other people about, they get frustrated that they can’t hear what the song is… They also get frustrated that I can’t hear both what they are saying and the song at the same time… It just turns sound into noise… And since there is no one about for me to keep an ear out for, I can actually listen to the radio again. (Of course, I only have two stations to choose from… The Latin religious station… And the oldies mixed with today station. And I am just not that old yet… Of course, I am not that religious and my Spanish is not that good, so the oldies mixed with today wins out… How I can’t wait to find my CDs… No comment on the lack of an MP3 player… I have heard of them, even seen and touched a few… But do not have a clue about how to get the music in or out, let alone on how to choose which one… Plus, don’t they have an added expense just to keep track of my songs or something? I don’t know… I am stuck in the land of the CD for a while longer… Oh well… Should I even mention that most of my Arabic Dance music is still on cassette tape? Hmmm… Just forget that I brought that hidden point up…)

I have taken to wearing my retainer all the time… Since there is no one to talk to, and no one to see me, I figure why not be “good” and start wearing my retainer before all the years of braces and surgery become undone by having my teeth move too much more than they already have… (I must look like the serious geek with my retainer, glasses, hair in a ponytail, cleaning the bathroom in mix-matched knee socks, boy shorts and a tank top… But yeah… That would be the real me… In the raw… unmade up and scrubbed clean face, dancing about to music that no one else can hear but me… Good mental picture huh?)

So there you go… I could list more that I have learned, come to embrace, or just come to accept about the real and uncensored version of me when I am alone, but this is getting longer and longer… So I’ll let some more time pass and then see what else appears in the ongoing and daily discoveries of my living alone… If there is one thing I can say, it’s that life is always an adventure… (And that is the best thing of all…)


Ps.

Here is a copy of the song that I have stuck in my head today… Perhaps you too will discover that you can sing along… (However, I can’t recall ever learning the words…) Enjoy… And keep your fingers crossed that someday, I will live where there is a greater choice in radio stations… (Though, I did just find out that Sugar Ray remade the song… No, that is not the version that has been crossing the airwaves into my home… But at least I now know that it is not that forgotten of a song after all… Of course, it was Sugar Ray… So… Well… I think I’ll stick with the original… At least then I can say it is a classic… And here is a version by Alizee… Hmm… Anything French is automatically a classic right???)

ABRACADABRA
The Steve Miller Band
written by Steve Miller

I heat up, I can't cool down
You got me spinnin'
'Round and 'round
'Round and 'round and 'round it goes
Where it stops nobody knows

Every time you call my name
I heat up like a burnin' flame
Burnin' flame full of desire
Kiss me baby, let the fire get higher

Abra-abra-cadabra
I want to reach out and grab ya
Abra-abra-cadabra
Abracadabra

You make me hot, you make me sigh
You make me laugh, you make me cry
Keep me burnin' for your love
With the touch of a velvet glove

Abra-abra-cadabra
I want to reach out and grab ya
Abra-abra-cadabra
Abracadabra

I feel the magic in your caress
I feel magic when I touch your dress
Silk and satin, leather and lace
Black panties with an angel's face

I see magic in your eyes
I hear the magic in your sighs
Just when I think I'm gonna get away
I hear those words that you always say

Abra-abra-cadabra
I want to reach out and grab ya
Abra-abra-cadabra
Abracadabra

Every time you call my name
I heat up like a burnin' flame
Burnin' flame full of desire
Kiss me baby, let the fire get higher

I heat up, I can't cool down
My situation goes 'round and 'round
I heat up, I can't cool down
My situation goes 'round and 'round
I heat up, I can't cool down
My situation goes 'round and 'round

Hey... That's me...

I just popped online... Have been doing the usual poking about... And then I saw it... That looks like my coat... That looks like my picture... Hey... That's ME as the little photo for that tribe... COOL...

(I had forgotten that I had posted it up there... I have been smothered and swimming in endless photos lately...)

Who knew that I was cool enough to be the icon for something, even if only for a morning... Yup... Today rocks...

The tribe? Playlicious Playwear... (See... It is cool...)
The photo? You'll just have to go and see...

playaliciousplaywear.tribe.net

What's going to be hard is to keep from going back later to see if it is still up... (Yeah... I'm a geek... No excitement here... No... Not from me... Yea! I'm cool, I'm cool! Yeah... Some things never change...)

My year so far...

JANUARY
1. Who kissed you on new years?
I can't recall... It was too long ago...

2. Did you have a new year's resolution this year?
Yes I did... And no it didn't last..

3. Does it snow where you live?
Nope... It might if the world was coming to an end...

4. Do you like hot chocolate
Yes... White chocolate with lots of cinnamon... I can't do "real" chocolate anymore...

5. Have you ever been to Times Square to watch the ball drop?
Only through the TV... If I am home, and remember to turn it to whatever channel happens to show it...

6. Do you ski or snowboard?
No, but I go sledding and make awesome snow angels...

FEBRUARY

1. Who was your Valentine?
The three year old that I "borrowed" for the night. He was the best Valentine ever... Candy, card, balloon, McDonalds for dinner... We had a ball...

2. When you were little did you buy Valentine's for the whole class?
Nope... I made them with my Mom... We were very crafty as a family growing up...

3. Do you care if the groundhog sees its shadow or not?
Totally... I am a Puxatawnie Phil junkie, I look it up every year...

MARCH

1. Are you Irish?
A wee bit...

2. Do you wear green every year on St. Patrick’s day?
Uh huh... I look good in green...

3. What did you do for St. Patty's Day in 2007?
Went to a fantabulous party and played my first real game of poker... Was dealt a pair of aces in the first hand... It was great...

4. Are you happy when winter is pretty much over?
I like sweater weather...

APRIL

1. Do you like the rain?
Yup...

2. Did you play an April fool's joke on anyone this year?
No...

3. Do you get tons of candy on Easter?
Not since I was a kid... And most of that was sugar free... But ohhh... How I love the Chocolate bunnies...

4. Do you celebrate 4/20?
I do not recollect...

5. Do you "love" the month of April?
With so many April birthdays in my family what's not to love? It is a party every other day...

MAY

1. What is your favorite flower?
Hydrangeas and Japanese Peonies...

3. Finish the phrase "April showers"..
Bring slugs and snails on the porch to step on... (I like Artemis's answer for this one...)

4. Do you celebrate May 16th: National Piercing Day?
There is a national day for this?

5. Is May anything special to you?
Every day is special to me... But May does hold some fond memories for me this year...

JUNE

1. What did you do for father’s day?
Called my Daddy...

2. Did you do anything fun during this month?
Travel... Travel... Travel...

3. Have a favorite baseball team?
Which ever one that I am sitting behind third base, eating hot dogs, drink a coke, and kibitzing with the regulars about is my favorite...

JULY

1. What did you do on the 4th of July?
The old fashioned thing... BBQ... Party... Sparklers in the street, Fireworks... The whole shebang...

2. Did you go to the fireworks?
They came to me... (After I flew for what ended up being like ten hours to get to them...)

3. Did you blast the A/C all day?
I was outside in the fresh air...

AUGUST

1. Are you doing anything special at the end of your summer?
Burning Man... Travel... Parties... Travel... Moving... Travel...

2. What was your favorite summer memory of '07?
Burning Man by far...

3. Did you have a sunburn?
No way! That's what sunscreen is for... But I did get nice and dark...

4. Did you go to the pool a lot?
No, I kinda skipped the water this year for the desert...

SEPTEMBER

1. Will you be attending college/school?
Only the school of life this fall...

2. Do you like fall better than summer?
Totally!

OCTOBER

1. What was your last Halloween costume?
A witch...

2. What is your favorite candy?
All the ones that I am not supposed to have anymore... Anything with chocolate... Oh, and candy corn...

3. What was your favorite thing about this month?
My niece being born and spend some real quality time being Aunt LaLa...

NOVEMBER

1. Whose house do you go to for Thanksgiving?
It depends what city I am in at the time...

2. What are you thankful for?
Good friends, family, loved ones...

3. Do you love stuffing?
It fills in the spaces...

DECEMBER

1. Do you celebrate Christmas?
I like all holidays...

2. Have you ever been kissed under the mistletoe
Not that I can recall, but it is on my list...

3. Get anything special last year?
Everything...

4. What do you want this year?
More...