5 Random Thoughts

5 Random Thoughts:

01.) If I have to carry my laundry from the washroom to the closet, and 50 feet of the journey travels through the rain, do I still need to put the clothes into the dryer?
02.) Hmmm... My hair looks like a wig from 1980's Texas...
03.) Networking is work.
04.) Please don't let TSA take my water pistols... They are way too cool.
05.) Today is just not a day for matching socks.

Top 20 Reasons to be HAPPY in February 2008:

Top 20 Reasons to be HAPPY in February 2008:

01.) finishing up projects
02.) reconnecting with friends
03.) creating new incredible recipes
04.) knowing that Dear Friends are jumping into new phases in their lives
05.) being off the pill is actually a good thing
06.) jelly beans
07.) finally seeing all of the LOST episodes
08.) post it love notes
09.) Valentine's pizza
10.) designer raincoats and windbreakers for more than 90% off
11.) beautifully made beds that look like they could be in a high-end hotel or magazine
12.) belly dancing on U-Tube
13.) waking up next to dimples each morning
14.) "NOT" craving coffee every morning
15.) discovering that the skinny girl on the elliptical machine next to you wears the same size pants as you
16.) 1970's green leather purses
17.) being able to leave the window open all day long
18.) cuddling on the sofa to watch movies
19.) resolving to not take on so many new projects
20.) meeting with more Legislators and bending their ears about breast cancer

Happy Valentine's Day!

Hope today, and every day, is your ultimate LOVE FEST!

Guess where I'll be tomorrow?

I'm going on a visit. To speak to a Senator, if possible.

In an article written by Alicia Lanier, "Free Health Screenings at Feb. 9 for Women's Health Forum in Santa Clara Sponsored by Senator Alquist" it states that: "Senator Elaine Alquist, California Senate District 13, is holding a free Women’s Health Forum, Thriving with Change, in Santa Clara from 9 a.m. to 1:30 on Saturday, February 9, 2008. This is a great opportunity for women to obtain several free health screenings, including bone density, blood pressure, cholesterol, glucose, body mass index (BMI), and breast cancer prevention screening."

"You’ll also learn about health care programs and services provided by the state as well as health care issues being considered by the California Legislature. Keynote speaker will be former State Senator Jackie Speier. The event will be at the Santa Clara Senior Center, 1303 Fremont Street, in Santa Clara. For more information and to sign up (space is limited), call Senator Alquist’s office at 408-286-8318."

And yours truly just called the number above. I was told to "just walk on in". So please, come join me! I was also told that they will be taking down contact information for future events. (I love mailing lists! It takes so much digging out of trying to find out what is going on and making changes...)

Here is the link to the original post: Free Health Screenings at Feb. 9 for Women's Health Forum in Santa Clara Sponsored by Senator Alquist

And the link to Senator Alquist's site: Senator Elaine Alquist . She is the the State Senator representing the Heart of Silicon Valley. The 13th senate district covers much of Santa Clara County including the cities of San Jose, Sunnyvale, Santa Clara, Mountain View, and Gilroy.

Reconstructed clothing into hats...

I found a new site! (Actually Rockstar Mommy did, but ohhhh it's new to me and I soooo love it!) It's called Tilly Jane and they make the cutest hats and accessories. Some for kids, but the hats for adults are just too cute! And they are all reconstructed clothing, which really makes my heart go pitter-pat... I love the eco-friendly stuff... I know, I am a Hippie that bathes... (I stick my tongue out at you...)

And of course the geek in me sees the connection between the Viking hats that are the rage right now, the Newsboy hats that have been in style for the past couple of years, and these (too cute for real words) hats. I love that everything old is new again... I thrill on seeing how each person re-invents the wheel and makes it their own. I love art and fashion...



From their website:

"What makes Faith's hats so special? Each of these stylish one-of-kind hats are made from recylced sweaters. Designed and handmade in Portland, OR -- Faith's hats are available in adult, toddler and infant sizes."

"Everybody loves these hats! Faith custom makes these one-of-a-kind newsboy style hats by recycling sweaters, so each hat is unique. Adult hat-band diameter is 21-Inches."

Need to go pack...

So it has been a whirlwind year thus far my Dear Friends!

With so many people visiting and moving, the coming and going has taken up a monumental pace of entertaining dinner parties mixed in with socializing while moving things like beds and dressers from here to there. (Thank heaven Superbowl was one of the most boring and dull games in football history... It enabled me to squeeze in a few more hours with friends that I had been missing quite a bit... Well, the last three minutes were good, so it was not a total waste of pigskin, and there IS always next year...)

And in what is quickly coming down to days, we will soon be off to a wonderful tropical island in the Pacific... (Bring on the Mai Tai's and the Poi, let me see waterfalls for days and hike through volcano forests until my legs beg to be separated from my body and left behind to rest... Bring on the black sand beaches and the kayaks... Hawaii, here I come!)

I'll be sure to post up photos... That is, if I remember to pack the camera... (With all that has been going on, who knows WHAT I'll remember to pack...)

Hope you all are having a blast doing what it is that you do... I'm keeping my fingers crossed that your interviews go well, your jobs don't drive you insane, that school doesn't leave you without at least a little time to find a party and let it lose for a night... I hope that your endeavors are fruitful and your road trips are calm and without upset. Here's to all of my loved ones that are moving to far away places; may you settle in quickly, make wonderful new friends, and be ready for my visit sometime in the not too far off future...

And for those Dear Friends that are near to me, I'll be back in Mid-March and ready to bore you to tears with home movies, slides and photos of what has got to be the best birthday trip ever!

Circle... Circle... Circle...

I am sitting here wondering if I can go through with this... This most wonderful of proposals to the most wonderful of men... (I say most wonderful of proposals because it is my first time proposing to someone... Most wonderful of men, because he is...)

I am about twenty hours or so away from completing my project... The project of my proposal... Before I ship it off for the final phase and wait for it to be delivered back to my overly anxious hands... But really... In the grand scheme of things... It's not that far off anymore. (Not when you think of how many hundreds of hours that have gone into this thing, how many hundreds of thousands of hours that I hope to spend with this most wonderful man...)

And I am wondering if I can do this... As in right now... Not knowing if I am sitting with a ticking time bomb in my chest or not... And finding out is going to be taking a lot longer than I thought. (I was really, really hoping on having this all done with before our vacation... But Now I start all over with another breast surgeon in the middle of March... And who knows what hoops I will have to jump through then...)

And I ask the question if it is fair to ask someone to spend the rest of their life with you, when you have no idea how long that will be. (And I am angry.) And I ask if it is right to ask someone to choose being with you if you know that the possibility of what you foresee in the future together may not really happen because of the very real possibility of... Of the unspeakable... (And I am angry and hurt... And feeling more than a little guilty.)

And then I ask if I would say yes if things were reversed. (And I would. Without hesitation.) And then I think it must be unfair of me to think these things and to be so selfish... (And I get angry all over again.) If he and I are really an "us", then who am I to think that I should make this decision all alone? Would I not be more than upset and hurt if this was all turned around? (And I would be... And then I feel ashamed...)

And then I wonder if I am just being selfish... For twisting things about to be how it is that I want them to be... (And I doubt myself and my thoughts even more than before...)

It is a vicious cycle... It is more than I bargained for... (But then, so is this wonderful man... He is so much more than anything I could have ever bargained for... And who bargains when it comes to love anyway? Who DOES that?)

And then I think I have only twenty or so more hours until I am done with this project... (And I get all puffed up and proud and excited like a child giving a gift to someone they totally adore...) And I just want this to HAPPEN...

The Boyfriend calls this "Circling"... Like a dog that spins round and round on the cushion before settling down to nap... And he is right... I do this...

Circle...
Circle...
Circle...
(sigh)
Circle...
Circle...
(wait, someone moved the cushion)
Circle...
Circle...
Circle...
Circle...
(sigh)
Circle...

I think it's time for a credit card...

I spoke with the case manager at the Patsur Program... And the news is to the tune of $6,000.00... And they have never had a surgeon request a breast MRI before. So they don't think that they can cover it. But she is reassuring me that she is working on that... (And has been in the two weeks since I saw the surgeon... Without letting me know, of course...) So I am crossing my fingers that something will happen that is positive... (Like she really is working on this... But after the last handful of dealings...)

The surgeon warned me that the test was expensive... He had said about 3 grand... Plus FNA/LNA for the biopsy... (And while it has been almost a year since all of this has started, he discovered another location for concern... Time is not a friend in this sort of thing...) He said that the alternative would be more expensive, more invasive and more scarring... Not to mention, less effective... (That would be to open the breast up and do an old fashioned biopsy, and hope that he got the right location in the mass... Which would be fine if he were just going to remove the whole area, and then let me know if it was necessary for radiation afterward or not... But this whole wanting to have children thing is putting a damper on that... Not to mention that is just not how these things work... Though WHY that is, I just don't know, and no one else seems to either...)

So I am waiting... Again... Still...

And I think it may be time to get a credit card. The one with the highest limit I can get... I don't think they'll take my left arm as payment... They certainly aren't taking my breasts no matter how much I push for that... (A sick joke... I know... Sorry... Just frustrated...)

What I have left to say is this: When you are voting tomorrow... Ask yourself how important health care is to you... And how important it will be to you when you retire. Because I have Medicare. And they do not cover so many things. (Things like this...) Ask yourself if in a handful of years you want to be struggling to find a doctor who will even see you, let alone a hospital that will do the tests that you need to (save your life) lead a healthy life... And then vote for those that will support moving in a direction that will make sure American's do not have to continue facing such a grim future. So that one day, YOU do not have to face a grim future. (This is not something that I would wish on anyone...)