I really need to get laid...

Dear Friends;

I wrote this Blog last fall. (Did you really think I posted ALL my Blogs?) But… Since I once again find myself in the same position as I did before, and pretty much everything I wrote then I would write again now, I figure that I might as well just post this one after all… So enjoy, my Dear Friends… Please have a chuckle at my… um… situation… After all, someone should. And even I can feel the funny in between the frustration…




Dear Friends;

I need to get laid… I mean I REALLY need to get laid.

Now I understand that I have said that anyone can get laid any time that they want, and I really do believe that. But it is not so much a matter of finding someone to become intimately friendly with, or lowering my standards. Or perhaps it is… In a round about sort of way. I have become increasingly picky.

Since I decided to become monogamous and thereby celibate for such extended periods of time, I have discovered that I have refocused my energies. Great for running up and down stairs at 2am because I have to expend excess energy somehow… But not so great since my dreams have become increasingly vivid. Almost more so than reality.

Kisses so passionate that they would be cut from R rated movies… All of my senses kicking in so that I could almost swear there was body heat radiating from beside me in an empty bed. When I close my eyes, faces linger even after I open them to the first rays of early dawn light.

Now my restlessness is due to longing… And sleep evades me. I am not really sure which I prefer. The counting of naked muscled bodies jumping hurdles in my mind as I try to count myself to sleep… Or the haunting images that invade my dreams leaving me wanting…

If I could just convince myself to not care and let go of my new limitations, I think in some ways I would be happier. But what is that saying about a mind once stretched? It is sort of like that. I am looking for more. Not that I am looking for fairy tales or endless promises that can’t be kept. I have grown past those as well. But I want some thing that transcends just the physical.

I tried to go backwards once last spring, to disastrous results in so many ways, on a variety of levels. So going backward is not something that works for me. But it does not leave the alternative of progressing forward to be so easily attained. (The option of staying where I was over the summer is not available to me any longer.) And really, no matter how much I fight it, moving forward is the only thing that I know how to do. But it leaves me really needing to get laid with no satisfying outlet in sight.

In the meantime… There will be no bodice ripper or girly romance quick reads in my immediate future. No romantic or R rated movies that have steamy sex scenes in them. No more being the third wheel or wing-man for my friends who are in the beginning stages, or throes of cutesy- passionate relationships.

I will not torture myself in this way. I will be the ostrich. I will take myself to see Mission Impossible and James Bond… Oh… Strike that… That is fuel for the dreamland fires… I will cross my fingers that more girl power, kick butt movies are on the horizon. Tomb Raider and Ultra Violet. I will follow my favorite NFL teams, even though they are doing so terribly this season, and I will try to learn the names and stats of the players to go over in my head as I drift off to sleep, rather than focusing on who looks better running the ball or making the tackle.

I will commit to more time on the treadmill and start lifting heavier weights… (At least I will look better trying to burn off energy…)

But really, really, really, I just need to get laid. Repeatedly. (When your friends can start to tell just by the way you say hello that it has been far too long, then you KNOW it has become a problem…)