What rolls around in my brain could bore you BUT...

I know, I know... I've left you all hanging on the rest of the Hawaii Blogs... And I think I am just going to edit what I have and post it later today... Or tomorrow... Pulling out a story for each day is taking longer than I thought and when I had the momentum to do it, I kept telling myself to edge back a little. I just did not want to inundate you all with a gazillion posts like I did with out cross-country road-trip... (I still feel badly about that.) So I think that is what I am going to do about that.

Now... For this Blog I am in the mood to tell the world about me... (I know, isn't that what I do in EVERY blog?) But since I am in a chatty mood and there are too many scattered things running around in my brain to allow me to be productive at the moment, I am hoping that this is going to help me run it all out of my system and let you get to know a little bit about me... (This is not a meme... Though I suppose it could be... Use it if you like... Ah well, here we go...)

-One-

I have three coffee cups sitting in the sink right now... (I know... Do the dishes already...) But I just filled up a clean cup with herbal berry tea... Which I am going to let grow tepid on the table next to me before I take my first sip. Which I really want, but am afraid to burn my tongue. I hate that more than just about anything, so I eat and drink tepid food. Not only that... But after I take the first sip, and enjoy it, I will most likely forget that I have a cup next to me until the liquid is cold. Ad then I drink it anyway because I don't want to waste it, and tea does not go bad... I am glum that there is no sugar in my tea... I am trying to be good. (I swear that I am giving up on the jelly beans this time...)

-Two-

I have gotten into a habit of not making the bed right away when I get up. That bothers me. A lot. I figure that if I make the bed right away, then I won't want to climb right back into it. And it makes me feel as if I have accomplished at least ONE thing each day right away... Sort of like stacking the deck for having a good day. But lately... I have been leaving it unmade each morning until mid-day. I tell myself that I'll go back to bed to nap. And I really LONG to go back to bed and be good to my body, but for one reason or another, I don't. I am up. I am doing things. And even though I am paying for it, I do it anyway. (And I somehow get the feeling if I just made the dratted bed, I would hop back into it later like I ought to...) So starting tomorrow, I think I am making the bed again.

-Three-

I have accepted that I am a size 4/5. It has been years since I was pathetically tiny. And I don't REALLY want to be that small. I like that I have a bum... (Usually) What I hate is that the cups of my bras can fit over someone's head like a hat... A really silly hat, but still... I think the best part about bing so incredibly skinny is that I could fit into smaller bras and not lug around that ungodly weight that bears down on my shoulders. (It is awful and I can't wait to be done with having children and breast feeding... Getting a breast job is the happy place I take myself to every time I have a thought about children. Why fight it. The thoughts come unbidden anyway now... So the next time you see me looking at children in the park or store or any other place, and I have a dopey grin on my face, you will know that the first 3-5 seconds are spent going "awww" and the rest is spent thinking how great I am going to feel and look with tiny perky breasts...)

All that was to say that I (actually/finally) woke up this morning feeling like I was back on track for trying to get healthier, rather than focusing on looking better. (I know that one goes with the other, but not the other way around... A diet of calorie free soda with or without cigarettes and coffee is just not good for you no matter how you look at it...)

So here's to being fitter and keeping a positive outlook on things...

Because face it, I thought I was *fat* when I weighed 86 pounds. I thought I was *fat* at 125 pounds. I really was *fat* at 178 pounds, but that was not for long and I did do something about it... I think I am fat now, but have come to terms with the knowledge that I will ALWAYS think I am *fat*. Like every other person on the planet. (I would have said female, but really, I know better...) So when I say that I am *fat* and I am 8 months pregnant, just smile and nod and tell me how radiant I am... (Wait, on second thought, don't nod... You never know about those hormone things...)

-Four-

Typing with nails takes a really long time. I became used to (ugly) short nails while in culinary school, and never really got used to having them longer since... So as a result, I just took a sip from my cup... It was almost tepid. I am happy about the tea, bummed about the typing... Not sure about what to do about the nails. (Other than the typing, I think I rather like them. Pretty girl hands that bring out my genetic trait for gesturing with my hands wildly while I speak...)

-Five-

I have no five today... I think it worked... (Yea!) Sop now you know a little more about me and I can go and create a pattern for Asian Summer Pajamas. (I am making The Boyfriend a set for an I love you gift. You know the kind that is a short kimono wrap robe and knee length pants... Something to wear around the house when it gets warm... I found some cotton fabric that is white sculls in a spiral pattern on a black background. He loved it when I showed it to him...) So off I go... (I'll work on the Hawaii Blogs later... Really...)