Weekly Weigh In... A New Accountability...

So my sister has different weekly post to hold different aspects of her life accountable. Answering to yourself by public announcement, or something along those lines...

Since I have a goal that I have been tossing about with my closest friends for some time, and I have made little progress in the past few months, (Drat the candy bowl, double drat that I really do love it so...) I figured that perhaps I would try jumping on the bandwagon of accountability...

So here it is...

As of Sunday I totally FELT fat. I weighed in at 136.5, and burned 1,000 calories on the new elliptical at the gym. (Thanks again C.C. for all your support and rear kicking. I do adore you so...)

As of Tuesday night I FELT a little less bloated (Could it result from all the sweating I have been doing in the past couple of days?) I weighed in at 138, (Gotta love PMS... Grrr...) and burned just over 500 calories on what is now my new favorite machine. (We'll call it 500 just to keep things even, even though it was more like 512 and every calorie counter will tell you that every calorie counts...) And I finally did my BMI, a whopping 26%! (I put the exclamation point in there for you, I was a lot higher, even when I was thinner, go figure. Thin really is the new fat.)

As of last night I burned another 500 calories on that lovely elliptical from hell, giving my best rodent impression until my legs felt like Jello and I had to pry my hands from the heart monitor bars. (Thanks C.C. for inspiring me to up the level to the next one higher. I can feel the ache hitting already. Tomorrow I am going to pay for this big time. Not that the level I was at was all that high. Isn't level 1 high enough? Yeah, yeah, bite me... I hurt, I am beat, I am sweaty, and I am seriously feisty. Watch out world, I will take you on! Just as soon as I have a good long nap... actually, I am so tired that you better make that a nibble... I don't think I could handle a bite right now...)

I won't step on a scale until this weekend. I will not grab for the tape measure to look for progress until I have run the weekly virus scans on my computer. (Talk about a sick reward system. So what if I am lazy about my computer and obsessive about my weight... So sue me. I can be an average female too sometimes... At least I found a way likely to get me to run those pesky scans that take FOREVER and always want to run just as I am hitting a hot Google stride...)

I am sure at some point in the near distant future I will be adding on goals like a certain amount of calories burned each week... For now, I am just happy on this cool machine that does not hurt my knee, and sweating myself past the desire to get of said machine and do something that is not boring. (If I stay on past 400 calories the endorphins kick in and then all I want to do is STAY on that nutty contraption until my legs fall off... Well except for tonight. Tonight I thought I was going to throw up. I probably drank too much water. I know, ME drink too much water. I can hear the laughter from here...)

But for now, here are my goals... (To be reached by labor day weekend. And yes I already know that it is not likely, or realistic, but this is something to ASPIRE to, to aim for. I promise I will not slip into bad habits, or kill myself trying to reach them. I will only focus and work hard in a healthy manner... Really.)

Goals:

Weight: under 120 (Even if it is 119.9999999, I want that scale back where it belongs. Which is actually between 114 and 118, but I am not going to quibble about those last few pounds... And Yes, the doctor said it was a healthy weight, so please no comments telling me about how that is really too thin...)

Body Fat: 16-18% (This is the big one for me. I was chasing after 12%, but was discouraged by the same doctor that approved of my weight goals... Something about not good for someone who is considering conception, but we are going to move right past that for now. For now I want those sculpted arms and legs back. How I did not appreciate them when I had them. I want my tush smaller and about two inches higher than it currently is. I want to sport those elusive six pack abs that I have been gunning for and never quite getting. I would love to decrease my bust size. Dreaming here on this one, but it would be so great to be able to buy something from Victoria's Secret or to have a bra that costs less than $150.00 that does not require alterations. I am not about to increase the girth of my ribs from a 28, just so that I can wear a frilly lacy pretty things, and an F is just ridiculous. I seriously considered using duct tape to bind myself before hitting the gym. Talk about pain. This is starting to remind me of all the comments about what it must be for a guy to ride a runaway horse sans underwear... Ouch!... To be smaller... That would be incredible... Can you imagine... Real bathing suits that come as a set...)

Activity: More. (I know, this sounds silly to just put more as the goal, but with my ears and the headaches, this is the only reachable goal I can really have. Just more. So that I can have a good heart rate and not be winded trekking up the cliffs from the beach, climbing hills and stairs in the city, or so that I can keep up with the hyper-active loves in my life... So this is really probably the best goal of the bunch to have. I know, vanity always seems to win out over health in the end though... I can't help it, this summer I want to wear shorts. And I want to look not just good, but FABULOUS doing it. See... Vanity is a strong motivator...)

Size: Slightly smaller than what I am now. I want to wear the same clothes that I do now, I just want them to feel better on my body when I zip them up or sit down. I want my worn out, worn to death, favorite pair of jeans to be baggy on me, but not so much that they stop doing that sexy but thing. (I want to waffle between a 2 and a 3, not a 3 and a 5. And I am speaking in generalities here. We all know how wonky designers and manufactures are with sizing. Really, I know I can pull something off a rack and have anything from a 2 to a 9 fit... But for what is in my closet, what is typical of what I wear, I am sticking to a body skimming, not in the least bit tight, size 3 thank you very much. And again with the clause for those that think a 3 is too small. Please keep in mind that I happen to have a minuscule frame. As in I import my favorite bras from China kind of small. As in I am scared to think about passing a baby through hips as narrow as a ten year old boy's... And yes I used to steal and hoard my younger brother's jeans when they had outgrown them, so I really do know what I talking about. And I still typically shop the racks in the children's department first.)

And if you are wondering at all of the defensiveness about being too small, just chalk it up to some of those that go waaaay back with me will recall certain behaviors that we shared and somewhere along the way we grew past them. It's just that now, even a decade later, we still check up on one another to make sure that things are all right in the world and everything is under control and as it should be. Red flags are a bad thing, precaution and foresight are good. Friends that love you enough to be concerned are wonderful and should not be worried without real cause. So it is just better to head off all of the questions that are bound to come in when my accountability goes public...

So there you have it. I'll fess up again next week after I have had some time to make some progress and not have to be compulsive with the tools of accountability. (And no, I have not yet figured out how many weeks that is, even though C.C. did the math and it was something like 14 or 15, but not really sure. And I have it as being about 100 days... But again, not really sure. So I am sure all of that will be in the next update. After all, what else does a hamster in the gym have to think about as the calories add up on the screen and the minutes tick by like tiny beads of sweat? Yeah... It's that good...)