Disclaimer

This blog is an on-going work in progress, just like its creator. The names have been changed to protect the innocent, and the not-so-innocent. The events portrayed are as true and accurate as my perspective and memory allows, and are subject to change without further notice in the future. You will not find any Pay Per Post on my blog... No advertising. No peddling of anything other than my personal thoughts, opinions, and experiences... If you are reading my words it is because you are choosing to share a birds-eye view into my playground, not because I am pounding down your door asking to come in out the elements uninvited. With all of that out of the way, I really am glad you are here…

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Clinging to fairytales…



Is it such a bad thing to cling to a fairy tale? If you see things as they are but allow for the sheen of the enamored to be glossed on the surface, does that make your view become inaccurate?

If there is no such thing as perfect, then why is it our vocabulary? Is it something intangible or idealistic, like heaven or utopia? And if it is, then why is such are such words and concepts bandied about? Are so many people truly unaware, or is it a way to sugarcoat the ugliness? And if that is the case, then why have an un-attainable goal as what we all are striving for? Why not reach for stars you can at least possibly touch if you work and strive hard and long enough?

We stamp our feet and say live green, love thy fellow man and dream of a utopian planet. But is this really effective? Would it not be better to acknowledge that after so many centuries of mankind living on this planet, we will never love our fellow men? What if we strove to tolerate them instead? Live next to one another accepting that we will forever be different and alone? Who knows, but the fighting continues generation after countless generation all for some ideal. And the bigger question is this; are they really happy living this way? And if they are, then is that living in heaven? I hope not.

We live in a society where we bind ourselves to one another legally in a form of a contract, and somewhere down the line, we confused this with love. Are the two really compatible? And if they are, then why do we offer this arrangement to some, yet not to others? And who are we to decide what love is for everyone and who can make use of which binding agreements? And how can I get a contract that promises me love and actually delivers it? And if they are separate, then what is the big deal all about then? I don’t want to settle, and I certainly don’t want someone settling by choosing to be with me. Is there such an arrangement in existence that actually has individuals linking their lives together because they cannot dream of doing anything else and still being happy rather than staying together out of familiarity and comfort or for the children?

And if you think that this is me on a soapbox, you are incorrect. This is me really asking these questions. I really want to know. After last night’s conversation, the one where my barn burnt down, I need to find out, at the very least, what those answers are for me.

(My particular “barn” being the ideal of a romantic love where one person can be right for another, by way of being a perfect connection or match, by means of being perfect in their imperfections. That there is really such a thing as an unending love affair of the heart, and that you can be happy with one person without settling. Because after last night, I am ready to scrap this whole thing and I really do not want to do that. My heart and my mind are at war and they are not living with tolerance at the current moment in time. And if I cannot keep peace within myself, how can I be so innocent as to suggest that we could reach some sort of peace as a whole? I fear I am an incurable romantic. I know, crazy or stupid are also possibilities, but I like those even less…)

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