Inner-Musings and Mis-Adventures: Checkmate…

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This blog is an on-going work in progress, just like its creator. The names have been changed to protect the innocent, and the not-so-innocent. The events portrayed are as true and accurate as my perspective and memory allows, and are subject to change without further notice in the future. You will not find any Pay Per Post on my blog... No advertising. No peddling of anything other than my personal thoughts, opinions, and experiences... If you are reading my words it is because you are choosing to share a birds-eye view into my playground, not because I am pounding down your door asking to come in out the elements uninvited. With all of that out of the way, I really am glad you are here…

Monday, January 15, 2007

Checkmate…

Dear Friends;

I think I have been bested. And I did not even see it coming. I should have. I was raised in politics and weaned on manipulation… And yet… Blindsided…

I may be wrong… This mastermind may be just a regular player… But somehow, I do not think so… And the funny thing is, either way, I am walking away from it all. I did not want to play the game in the first place. I certainly do not wish to be a part of ugly things. And no matter which way the truth really is, I will never discover it. And I no longer care to do so.

I just wish to have things be nice and friendly. I want to be in a place where people are kind and honest with one another. I do not want to be a part of name-calling and mud slinging and political maneuvering. I do not desire to be in the line of fire or in the direction of hostilities… I am tired of insecurities and blame and the pointing of fingers. I will never understand the small and petty. I do not wish to waste time scared and stagnating…

This week, in my moment of anger, I sent a message to someone. I was certain that all signs pointed from that direction solely. I did not open my eyes because I was so caught up in that one direction. Which was wrong of me. The response was of course terrible. One of hatred and anger and denial. I showed both messages to a Dear Friend, who agreed that my message was too harsh and left little room for the other person to move otherwise. My Dear Friend also agreed that now bridges were so successfully burned that even social politeness in the distant future is likely impossible. (That is something entirely new to me…) And then the Dear Friend agreed with the likely possibility that this third person, for reasons of their own, was quite probably the very successful manipulator in bringing things to a heightened state of being…

So, I am laying my king down. I am done. No more Chess for me… Anyone up for Mah Jong? I only played a couple of times, long ago. But I have a beautiful set that is begging to be brought out and dusted off… I have three seats available, and plenty of hot tea… Any takers?

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A grand sense of adventure, A resonant voice, Action movies, Adrenaline rushes, Ahi- seared, Airports, Al Samoud, Amodicoms, Answers, Artisans, Artwork of women, Asian bakery, Baby greens, Barely there touches that cause goose bumps, Beautifully wrapped gifts, Being able to press pause, Being Aunt LaLa, Being escorted anywhere, Being friendly to strangers, Being held in someone’s arms, Being on the honor roll, Being on the same wavelength, Being swept off my feet, Being the playground, Beurre Blanc, Big hearts, Big hugs from tiny children, Big smiles, Big sunglasses, Black and white TV shows, Board games, Body glitter, Bracelets, Brunch, Bubble baths, Burning the candle at both ends, Cabernet, Cable cars, Café au lait Boston style, Camping, Capers, Card games, Carpet picnics, Catnaps, Change, Chateau Briand, Cheeky briefs, Chef coats with French knot buttons, Chenille blankets, Children’s books, Chocolate anything, Chopsticks for my hair, CK perfume, Cloven follies, Communication, Compassion, Competitive cooking, Connecting the dots, Constant contact, Costumes, Cowboy hats, Cowry shell and lapis jewelry ensembles, Crazy socks, Crossing things off my list, Cuddling, Curiosity, Daily horoscopes read the day after, Dancing in the living room with the lights down low, Dancing in the rain, Dancing with a partner, Desire, Devotion, Dim sum, Dining al fresco, Dinner parties, Down comforters, Drive in movies, Eggplant Parmesan, Empathy, Endless possibilities, Eskimo kisses, Exchanging knowing looks and evil grins, Eye opening experiences, Eyes that sparkle, Family, Feeding ducks, Feeling alive, Feeling truly loved, Firemen, Fires for warmth, Flirting, Flora, Flowing skirts, Fluffy slippers, Flying, Football- playing and watching, French manicures, Friendships that withstand the test of time, Full body stretching, Full moons, Fur rugs, Getting all dressed up, Getting in and out of crazy escapades a la Lucy, Giving and receiving pleasure, Gratification, Green and yellow M&M’s, Green grass, Grilled cheese sandwiches, Growth, Halibut, Hats, Having Barbie hair, Having my buttons pushed in all the right ways, Having pictures taken, Henna tattoos, High heels, History, Holding hands, Holidays, Honesty, Honey wheat bread, Hot tea anytime, Houseplants, Huge family parties, Hugging, Hugs that lift you off the ground, Ice cream, Illuminating, Inside jokes, Intensity, Inter- mezzos, Introspection, Jazz, Jewelry, Joy, Kiddy pools, Kindness, Kindred spirits, Kisses that take your breath away, Kissing, Knee socks, Large handled coffee mugs, Late night calls, Late night conversation, Laughter, Learning, Lemon vinaigrette, Lingering looks, Live productions, Living a legendary life, Long conversations, Long letters, Long nightgowns, Long walks to nowhere, Long wool coats, Long-standing friendships, Loving myself, Mahjong, Making new friends, Making out on the ramparts of castles, Massages, Matching luggage, Meeting of the minds, Men in suits and ties, Men who love girly- girls, Mending fences, Mental expansion, Mental inertia, Mexican pastry, Milkshakes with my brother, Min Mai hair buns, Mineral make up, Monterey jack cheese, Mushrooms, Naming plants- cars and other objects, Not answering the phone, Oatmeal raisin cookies, Old black and white movies, Open minds, Organized drawers- closets and boxes, Passion, Pasta, Pedicures, Pen pals, People who hold open doors, Perpetual motion, Pineapple, Pink grapefruit juice, Playa wear, Playing dress up, Playing in the playground after-hours, Playing tourist, Playtime anytime, Please and thank you, Pleasure, Popping shirt buttons, Postcards, Pretty sparkly jewelry, Prophylactics, Provocative thought, Pseudonyms, Punctuality, Puppy breath, Purses and shoes that match, Push up bras, Pushing all the elevator buttons, Quality over quantity, Questing for the unknown, Questions, Quietude, Reading, Reading the book before seeing the movie, Real butter, Real maple syrup, Reggaton, Research, Retro bathing suits, Road trips, Rob Thomas, Roga, Romance, Salsa music, Satin sheets, Scarves, Scented body lotion, Sci-fi flicks, Seeing eye to eye, Self-improvement, Sensuality, Sequined shoes, Sex, Sexy dresses, Shadow dancing, Sharing air, Sharing food from the same plate, Sharp cheddar cheese, Sherpa boots, Shopping in my closet, Shopping trips with my Dad, Silky bathrobes, Sincerity, Singing in the car, Sitting in the front seat, Sitting on the kitchen counter, Sitting on the same side of the table, Skeleton trees, Sleeping in someone’s arms, Slip n slide, Small plate adventure meals, Smell of old books, Snow globes, Soft skin, Soundtracks to live by, Sparkly anything, Special play clothes, Spraying whipped cream straight from the can into open mouths, Steak- medium rare, Stealing glances, Sting, Stopping traffic, Straight shoulders, Strawberries, Strawberry preserves, Summer squash, Sundays spent in bed, Sunrise, Sushi, Sweater weather, Tall trees, Tanning beds, Telling my Mothers everything, Tempur beds, Text messages, The colors red and pink, The freedom to be silly, The smell of rain, The sound of a beating drum, The sound of a beating heart, Tire swings, Tolerance, Tomatoes, Travel, Treasure hunts, Tribal music, Uncooked- fresh green beans, Valentines, Vanilla malts, Veracity, Walking arm in arm, Walking barefoot in the sand, Water aerobics, Waterslides, Wearing costumes, Wearing his shirt when it smells like him, Wearing pajamas in public, Weekend getaways, White dishes, Winks, Winning medals, Worn in- worn out jeans, Xoxxxox, Yearning, Yoga, Zany adventures, Zeal, Zest for life, 1000 count all cotton bed sheets, A grand sense of adventure…

Inner-Musings and Mis-Adventures

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Monday, January 15, 2007

Checkmate…

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