I see you... Or do I?

Dear Friends;

So here it is… I am “seeing someone”.

I don’t know what this means. Not a clue. “Seeing someone”.

I don’t know what this means in general, when you tell people that you are “seeing someone”. I have no idea what it means to the person I am currently “seeing”. And I have no idea what this means to me. But there it is, I am “seeing someone”.

Perhaps it is like “dating” someone. But I have always thought that “dating” was something done casually, and with as many people as possible, so that you might attain whatever goal set for the purpose of “dating”. Be that company, fun, companionship, sex, or finding that possible right someone special.

And then there is that ever-adolescent phrase of “going together”. As in, this is my boyfriend/ girlfriend. Or the more adult way of putting it, this is my “significant other”.

So does “seeing someone” slide somewhere in the middle?

In it’s ambiguous nature, “seeing someone”, does not really define the boundaries of a relationship. Not at all, aside from the obvious visual meeting of my eyes to his face and vice versa. I meet him, I see him, and we do things… So we are “seeing” each other? Hmmm… And of course, this addresses none of the other things like; if we are “seeing” each other, then are we also “seeing” other people? And what about intimacy, both of the physical and the emotional kind? Where does this fit in?

I was new to dating a year and a half ago. I made it my mission (At the time it seemed to be more like my Mission Impossible…) to go out and meet as many different people as possible. To hang out and spend time with all sorts of people, so that I could get a better understanding of myself, the world around me, what I wanted from the world, and the other people in it. I became a Grand Master in the fine art of dating. I am now the Female-Approachable-Extraordinaire. I speak to strangers every time I go out. I smile and am smiled at all the time by countless people of every age and kind. I get asked for my number endlessly, and more often than not I have an entourage of admirers wherever I go. (As my closest friends like to tease me…)

But this change in life and relationship phase, this moving into the consideration of anything more than something casual in its connection, is so very new to me. I think it is thrilling, and exciting, and scary as hell… And, I have no idea as to how to proceed.

Okay, I do have SOME idea. I will be myself, as I have always been. I will be honest and straightforward. I will listen with my brain, as well as my heart, not just my body. And I will be kind and respectful. I will also do exactly as I am doing right now, over analyzing the situation, and the varied paths that it is bound to take. I will question anything and everything, and wonder constantly. I will continue to think that this someone is incredible and amazing, even if it turns out that he is not the right someone for me. And, I hope that at the end of it all, I will finally discover what it means to be “seeing someone”, and that I will have mastered this phase in relationships as gracefully as I have the one for “dating”.